Ellen’s POV
He leaned in and was about to kiss me…
Then bam. It was like someone hit me with a stick and knocked some sense into me. Reality struck hard and I was taken out of the trance Niall had me in. I opened my eyes, put my hands of Niall’s chest and took a big step back.
“Wait a second here Niall. As if I’m going to let you just walk back into my life like this,” I looked up at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and has a confused face on. I walked to my car and started it. I looked in my side view mirrors and saw Niall’s face in the window.
“Ellen, just hear me out babe,” he said as he knocked on the window. I looked up at him and I started to cry.
I couldn’t let this happen all over again. I didn’t trust him anymore. He wanted me; I could see it in his eyes. But I needed to listen to my head. When I didn’t last time he ended up hurting me. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me and I was not going to let him fool three times.
He opened the passenger door and sat down. I threw my head back on the seat and let out a huff of air. I stared directly in front of me, deep in thought about Niall and this entire situation. “What are you thinking about?” he asked me. His eyes were burning into the side of my head.
“Just everything Niall. You, me, the past two years, last night, everything. This whole thing is just so screwed up.” I replied not moving my eyes from the windshield.
This entire situation couldn’t be more messed up. I was trying to protect myself. He couldn’t blame me, could he? It was his entire fault after all. He ruined the last two years and last night, it wasn’t like I ever did anything wrong. But now he was finally ready for me to be in my life, and I am starting to re-think everything. I don’t want to be hurt again. But that is no reason for sending him mixed signals like this.
“I don’t know what to say El,” he told me.
I put my palms to my face and started to cry even harder than before. Suddenly he picked me up off my seat and sat me in his lap. He put his arms around my waist and his head in the crook of my neck. I put my face to his chest and just cried for awhile. I needed to be comforted; I needed to get all my feelings out…
--
Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into an hour. Niall and I sat like that for an hour before I decided we needed to talk about it. Just sitting here crying wasn’t going to solve our problems.
“Niall, are you awake?” I asked him. He was notorious for falling asleep in the weirdest places; I needed to make sure he was awake before I poured my feelings out.
“Yes El,” he said sweetly. “How are you feeling?” he blurted out. What a stupid question, he knew exactly what the answer was.
“Miserable,” I said quickly. He kissed my cheek as a comforting gesture. I groaned at him.
“Niall just stop okay?” I said as she hopped off his lap and into the driver’s seat again. I instantly regretted what I just did. How on earth were we going to fix our problems if I wouldn’t even accept a kiss on the cheek?
“Ellen, do you even want to fix this? If you don’t I’ll just leave now and we can just end…whatever you want to call this. I’m starting to feel like you and me is just one huge freaking mistake.” he said, he started to get angry at me. It was understandable. He got out of the car and started to walk away.
“Don’t say that, I know you don’t mean it,” He turned around and I looked him straight in the eyes and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry if I’m making this difficult on you. But Niall, do you understand what I’m going through? I’m scared to be heartbroken again, and you’re leaving for the American tour in just a few hours!” I said to him, trying to explain my thought process.
“I know all that. I know I hurt you before, I want to prove it to you that I will never do it again. I was being a stupid kid Ellen. I want you to forgive me for the past and I want to forget about it. Let’s start brand new right now. After all of this I just know I want to be with you, forever and always. I can’t go on another tour without knowing if you care about me.” He said to me as he squeezed my hand.
For then first time in a really long time, my heart fluttered and I got butterflies. I could see it written all over his face, he meant every single word that came out of his mouth and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that it was all true.
I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist and attacked him with a big hug. “I forgive you Niall.” I said into his chest. When I said those words he spun me around in circles. I started to cry, happy tears. He put me down without his hands leaving my waist and looked at me.
“I’ve waited for this moment for a really long time Ellen,” he whispered.
“I’m really happy to hear that Niall. I’ve waited for this for a really long time too.” I smiled really big.
I gave him another hug in the grocery store parking lot…
