The first step

"Hello Alise!" He says

"Hi." I say in monotone sitting down on the green, squishy and uncomfortable chair.

"How have you been?" he asks as if I've been good.

"I've been the same." not bothering lying.

"So you've been okay?"

"I guess."

"You need to stop guessing and start knowing Alise."

"I know."

He looks out the floor-to-ceiling window that over looks a lake.

"Have you be thinking of it lately?"

"No."

"Are you lying?"

"Maybe."

"Why do you always give half answers?"

"Because nothing is for certain so why would I risk being wrong?"

"There is nothing wrong with being wrong!"

"I guess..."

He sighed loudly. I leaned back into the chair.

"I feel like we've been getting no where these past few sessions."

"Well what do you want me to say? that I'm totally fine and i don't think about killing myself? Well you told me not to lie when we began this shit" I yell.

"Damn it no! I don't want you to say you're fine, I want you to try!"

I didn't flinch at his yelling. I know he cares about me, but I don't care about anything is the problem.

"I'm sorry I'm not fine but I don't know what to do."

"We find the solution to your problem."

"How?"

"The first step is finding out why you became depressed."

I looked out the window and thought about jumping out. Maybe I should. Smash the glass and fall down 8 stories. Hit the ground and crack open my skull. Maybe that would be better than answering this question. Maybe they shouldn't have put me in a room so high up. They know I tend to jump to conclusions.