Falling

Confessions

"You really don't have to walk me home. I know the way." I said as I tripped over a raised portion of the sidewalk causing me to lose my balance. Before I fell straight to the pavement, I felt a strong arm wrapped around my waist lifting me back up.

"You may know the way, but you seem to have forgotten how to walk." Sam chuckled as he pulled me close to him.

"Stupid heels!" I protested and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to pull them off of my feet. I felt Sam tugging at my arm to pull me back up.

"Kate, what the hell? That's gross!"

I kept tugging at my shoes until I got them both off and then looked up at him with my best drunken puppy dog eyes. "But I'm tired, Sam. I don't want to wear them any more."

I watched as he put his hands behind his neck in frustration. "Fine, whatever you want, Cinderella." He scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder. "But tonight is not the night you get hepatitis walking home."

"Hepa-what? Put me down!" I smacked his back like a child, but he didn't acknowledge my tantrum. I finally gave up and was about to let the exhaustion take over, until I felt him walking up the stairs at my apartment.

He slowly set me down to where my feet landed on our welcome mat. "Whew, Mills you may wanna cut back on the pity ice cream." I saw a playful smile dance across his lips as I shoved him as hard as I could. "And you might want to pick up the weights at the gym if that's the best you've got." He laughed obnoxiously at his own joke.

Ignoring his comments, I started fumbling through my purse looking for my keys. Finally hearing the familiar jingle I pulled them out with a celebratory smile on my face. I noticed Sam shaking his head. "Need some help?"

"Nope." I was trying so hard to get the key in the door knob, but the issue was figuring out which door knob. Apparently I drank more than I thought. "I do know how to open my door. I've come home drunk before." Frustrated I started gliding the key until I felt it slide into the groove. "Voila!" I clapped my hands proud of myself.

"Okay little miss independent. Let's get you to bed." He pushed the door open and I felt his hand on the small of my back trying to guide me inside. I felt butterflies and guilt all at the same time. I kept thinking of how hurt Ben looked that night he told me I couldn't see Sam anymore. I had argued there was nothing there, but here I am getting butterflies at the touch of his hand.

"This is where you step inside, Cinderella." I stood there completely dumbfounded. It was like I had forgotten how to move or speak. All I could do is stare up at him. My Prince Charming. He was always coming to my rescue. He'd seen me at my worst and still kept coming back. "Kate, come on its late."

I finally stepped inside and walked over to the kitchen. I managed to grab a pint of ice cream from the freezer and pulled myself up onto the counter. "So what were you doing there tonight?"

He stared at me amused as I tried to open the frozen container in my hands. Shaking his head he pulled it away from me and opened it with ease. "Well, I was hustling quite a round of pool until I heard your laugh across the room. After that I was too distracted to shoot." He reached into the drawer for a spoon, but instead of giving it to me he started to eat it himself.

"Hey, that's mine." I desperately reached for the ice cream as he kept playfully pulling it away. I crossed my arms and frowned as he chuckled at my failure.

"You're a little old for pouting." He smirked as he handed the carton to me.  "So, where's Benny Boy?"

That was the million dollar question. I knew it was coming and drunken me had no clue how to answer. Tell him the truth or keep him in the dark until I knew myself?

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the cabinets. "He said I couldn't see you, so I told him to leave." I knew it wasn't the exact truth, but it came out any way. Looks like the drunk side of my brain was doing the talking. He raised his eyebrows while staring into the carton digging out another bite of my ice cream. "Don't be too flattered, I just don't like being told what to do. Now get out of my ice cream, Sam."

"I thought I just told you to lay off the ice cream." I watched curiously as he leaned against the countertop across from me. A puzzled look lingered on his face and I wondered what he was so confused about. It was entirely too late and I was a bit too wasted for serious talk so I reached for a coffee pod next to the Keurig and lunged it toward him. "Hey!"

I laughed as he looked up at me in shock. "Don't be such a baby, Lancaster."

With a quick eye roll, he walked over and snatched my ice cream away. "It's time for bed."

"I'm not tired." Shrugging my shoulders, I hopped off the counter and walked to the living room. I found a blanket draped on the back of the couch and wrapped up in at as I sat down. It didn't take Sam long to join me. Even in my intoxicated state of mind I could see the gears were turning in his mind. "You ok over there? Don't think too hard."

"Can it, Mills. What's on tv this late at night?" He leaned back into the couch cushions as I began searching for something worth watching.

"Golden Girls it is." I knew his mind was elsewhere when he didn't even protest. "I've always loved Sophia."

"Kate, I have to ask. What's so great about Ben?" I could see the lines wrinkle on his forehead. He really wanted to know and I had no idea how to answer. I know that in my heart Sam is the one I want to be with. But Ben is the logical one. He has "it" together. Sam is fun and makes rash decisions. But Ben is cautious and responsible. Then again, is it really worth settling for the mature one instead of the one who makes your heart skip a beat? "Is it the money? Because I have money."

It was impossible to hide the shock on my face. Did he really think I was that shallow? "Seriously, Sam? It's never been about money. And since when is this a competition? If it is, I never knew you were a contestant."

He turned to face me and I could see the seriousness in his eyes. "I've always been a contestant, Kate. From the moment you poured way too much sugar in your coffee. How do you not see that?"

"It's late, Sam. Maybe I should get some sleep."

The sadness that washed over him would haunt me for years. I felt like I broke his heart. "Yeah. I can see why you're so tired all of a sudden."

Before I had a chance to change my mind or consider the repercussions, the words came out. "Stay with me?"