You know why I'm sad?
I'm sad because today I didn't say "I love you".
It's so weird that something so simple..
Something so fundamental would make me sad.
I wouldn't,
I just couldn't.
Because to you ,
A proposal from me basically means nothing.
And I didn't want to be that guy who's so sensitive that he explains everything just to get a proper reply.
It saddens me to my very core that I can't say a simple "I love you".
(Well maybe it's not that simple but at this point think we're past that)
Frankly, I've never really felt this thing that I'm feeling much for anyone before you.
I don't know if this is a curse ( hehehehe judging by the wet pillow I'm resting my head on. probably yeah)
Or if it's something good or if it's something that I can be cured of.
But I know one thing, that is I need to get rid of it.
Maybe it's just me.
But it feels so weird.
The world's supposed to look brighter right?
When you fall in love?
Then why is it becoming more and more grey?
Doesn't make sense.
And the day I found out you didn't feel anything for me.
Oh man .
It literally felt like my world came to an end.
Like my heart stopped beating and like the reality, as I know it ..came to an end.
I must not ever say "I love you".
And I must forget this beautiful feeling I get when I see you smile.
And I must let go of this painful feeling I get when I see you with someone else.
I should be happy right?
I'm your friend.
But I'm not.
I'm sad.
And angry.
And unfulfilled .
You kept on texting me,
I kept on ignoring you.
Because what else could I do?
Reply to all your texts?
Smile through all the lame jokes we share?
Get angry on petty issues?
And fall for you again?
Hah
It's funny how it doesn't matter to you when I don't say "I love you".
Whereas it does to me .
It means the world and more .
You actually make me sad.
I don't know why
It's just like.. Uh.. I enjoy talking to you but you always make me sad.
The little things give you away.
The little things that make me sad.
It's so funny how the person we tend to love the most ends up hurting us the most.
Like it's so weird.
The contrary should be true but it isn't.
One day, you will miss me and I won't
That makes me sad.
But oh well I guess the world is not a wish granting factory after all.
Dear diary
I was happy before
And I'm sad now
But I wanna be happy
But a happiness without her
Isn't worth being happy
So I'm sad.. right ?
I'm sad
-🦉
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Holy fuck!
30 people read this ?
Dayum
Sorry for the late upload
Thank you all
Ily af
