5 Notes 5 Days

Note 4

"Wassup Jo Jo"Ash called out to Josh it was the weekend and they were all at Sam's house talking about the notes that they were getting.

"Shut up Ashlee"

"Ughhhhhhh" Sam exclaimed

"Fuck you Jo Jo"

"Fuck you Ash"

"THEN GO GET A ROOM AND FUCK EACH OTHER PEOPLE HERE HAVE WORK TO DO!!" Sam said... well it was more liked screamed.

"Wow" Josh said with his mouth agape

"Who would have taught that Sam could get angry" Ash said in disbelief .

"Sorry, I'm just frustrated with this thing cause it's been more than 2 hours and we have gotten nowhere" Sam said while rubbing her temples.

"What does the 4th note say and who got it" Josh asked

"Ash got the note"Sam explained

"Explaining my depression to my mother: A conversation.

Mom, my depression is a shape - shifter. One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear ; The next, it is the bear. On those days , I lay dead untill the bear leaves me alone. I call the bad days the dark days. Mom says, "try lighting candles." When I see a candle, I see the flesh of a church. The flicker of a flame sparks up a memory younger than noon. I am standing beside her open casket. It is the moment I learn every person I ever come to know will someday die, Besides, Mom , I am not afraid of the dark. Perhaps that's part of the problem. Mom says " I thought the problem is that you cant get out of bed." I cant Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house inside of my head."Mom says " where did Anxiety come from?" Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town depression felt obligated to bring to the party. Mom I am the party. Only I am a party I don't want to be at. "Mom says,"why don't you try going ti actual parties? See your friends!" Sure I make plans. I make plans but I dont want to go. I make plans because I know I should want to go. I know sometimes I would have wanted to go it's just not that much fun having fun when you dont want to have fun, Mom. You see, Mom, each night, Insomnia sweeps me up into his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove light. Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company company. Mom says "try counting sheep" but my mind can only count reasons to stay awake, so I go for walks. But my stuttering kneecaps shake like fluttering spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists. They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells, reminding me that I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I cannot baptize myself in.
Mom says "happy is a decision." But my happy is as hollow as a pinpricked egg. My happy is a high fever that will break. Mom says I am so good at making something out if nothing and then flat out asks me if I'm afraid of dying. No! I am afraid of living! Mom! I am lonely! I think I learned it when dad left... how to turn the anger into lonely, the lonely into busy. So when I tell you I've been super busy lately, I mean I've been falling asleep watching Sports Centre on the couch to avoid confronting the empty side of my bed, but depression always drags me back to my bed until my bones are the forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city. My mouth - a boneyard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves. The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with ecoes of a heartbeat, but I am a careless tourist here. I will never truly know everywhere I have been. Mom still doesn't understand. Mom cant you see that neither can I !!" Ash read aloud.

"Holy shit" Josh said

"See this is what happens when you come 2 hours late!" Sam said jokingly "but with this note we have confirmed that whoever this person wa-"

"Is" Josh said cutting Sam off

"Might not be around for much longer" Ashley finished for Sam.

The three friends looked at each other, whoever this person is they had to find him/her and fast.

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A/N: today's note (the one that Ash had read) I had copied because I really could not of thought of this my self. All credit of today's note goes to: Sabrina Benaim.

You can find this on youtube if you type in Explaining My Depression to My Mother A Conversation.
Go and check her out.

And I will see you guys in the next chapter.