Letters of Peace

Dear Lena

Dear Lena,

A baby? My baby is in your stomach. Baby, that's wonderful! I'm sure Vlad will come around soon enough, it is his grandchild after all. Augustus told me to tell you that he is well and that he will write soon. Send me photo's with your letters, love, I want to see your stomach get bigger like everyone else will.

I know I've said this in every letter, but I love you. And now I will this as well, I love our baby, too. You are the thing that keeps me going, baby. Please don't be sad, I will come back.

All my love,

Henry 

Over the past week I would have much preferred vomiting to sobbing. The Uniformed men that were at my home were from the Navy. They came to tell my family and I that Harvey's ship was set on fire and sunken by an under water bomb. Henry's letter had came just a day before Harvey's corpse was delivered. It was no longer a human body, it was charred and looked nothing like my handsome, charming older brother. That boy was long dead. His funeral was the up coming Sunday.

My mother and her sister are Jewish by birth, my father is a Christian and my uncle is Protestant. My siblings, cousins and I were given the choice to be baptized a Christian (my siblings and I), a Protestant (my cousins), or give into our rights as natural born Jews. Auggie and Ansie are Christians, Harvey and Matthew are Jewish, Thomas and Amelia are Protestant. I chose to be atheist. If I could not be both Jewish and Christian, then I would be neither. I did not care if my children were baptized in a church or a temple, I did not care if my wedding took place in front of a priest, rabbi or a judge as long as I had the people I love with me.

I was not able to sleep much the days leading up to the funeral. I would lie awake in my bed with tears leaking out of my eyes, clutching Henry's letter to my chest. I would wear something of Harvey's to help me sleep, to cope with his loss.

On the day of his funeral, everyone wore black. Even Anna and Richard were donned in black clothes. My only black dress was unflattering to the small pouch that held my tiny child of three months. The drive to Temple was silent and uncomfortable. I wore Harvey's jacket over my dress, it smelled so much like him.

The service was long and tear-filled. There was only Uncle Frank and Aunt Emily and Amelia and her children besides my family. Eleven people attended the funeral and eleven people paid there respects to Harvey when the Rabbi finished the ceremony. They had a box on top of the casket that was donned in the Star of David and the American flag that the Navy provided. There were a few trinkets of his, some toys that the children wanted to give to their brother and cousin. There were a few family photos and a few letters. I was the last person to go to say good-bye to Harvey. I placed the charm bracelet that he gave me in the beginning of high school in the box and closed the lid before leaning down and kissing the casket.

"If your nephew is a boy, I promise to name him Harvey Bauer St. Claire, Harvey." I whispered to my brother as my tears stained the flag with the Star of David on it. I could not sleep that night. My baby was giving me great discomfort as well as the large hole in my heart. I left my room and crept downstairs to the kitchen for something to eat.

"Helene, what are you doing up so late?" Papa asked from the darkness of the living room. This was the first time he had spoken to me since going to Dr. Rhodes office.

"I-I couldn't sleep Papa." I said, filling a glass with milk. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you." I turned the light off in the kitchen and made my way towards the stairs. Papa turned on the light in the living room as I placed my hand on the railing.

"Helene, come here." Papa said softly. "I would like to talk to you." I bit the inside of my cheek as I walked into the living room and sat in Mama's chair.

"Yes, Papa?" I whispered, taking a sip from my glass.

"Erm... How-- how are you feeling, Prinzessin?" Papa asked sheepishly. Was he talking about physically or emotionally?

"Physically, I am fine. Emotionally... I don't know anymore." I said, looking down at my lap. "Papa, I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Helene," Papa said, grabbing my hand.

"Papa, I'm so sorry that I disappointed you. I didn't mean to!" I cried, pressing my face into my hands. Papa pulled me into his lap and held me as I mumbled sorry's into his shoulder. Papa held me and said nothing as I clamed down.

"No, Prinzessin, I am sorry. I was scared of losing my only daughter." He admitted as he stroked my hair. "I always imagined walking you down to the person you were going to marry in a white dress and you would give your Mama and I little grandchildren a few years later. My sweet darling, promise me something?"

"Anything, Papa." I whispered. I just wanted him to be my Papa again, no more disappointment in his eyes.

"Promise me you'll never be too old for me to hold you like this. No matter how big you get." Papa teased, making me smile.

"I love you, Papa." I whispered, snuggling into his chest.

"I love you too, baby." Papa whispered back. Papa ended up carrying me back to bed around two a.m. And for the rest of that night, I never slept better.

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Hello lovelies!!

So, Helene is going to be having twins! Malkakateri4ka guessed it last chapter! I know, it's always sad when there is a death. Truth be told, I had planned for there to be a death early on in the story.

I'm gonna see Earth to Echo tomorrow!!

Lots of Love,

DoctorWho