sometimes ill catch myself wondering what it would feel like if you traced your fingers along my lips. or sometimes its something less gentle, like kissing you hard with your back against the wall. or something soft like kissing your neck. ill wonder what my name sounds like coming from your lips while they're against mine. but then ill stop wondering because is this even okay with you? would you be okay with all of this? are you okay with me even thinking this in the first place? i dont know and i feel sick and dirty because i feel like i need your permission. do i? can i have it?
its like no matter what it is i imagine you. youre not even that way. you would never do the things i imagine you doing. i imagine you tearing the shirt from my chest and between rushed breaths telling me to hurry. i imagine sloppy kisses and ruffled hair. hands everywhere and the lights are off.
why cant i control these thoughts? just to tame them enough so youre at least soft like i know you are. sweet kisses and hugs. cuddling on the bed with fluffy pillows telling jokes and hearing your cute laugh. im okay with this, this is totally okay with me. yet the rough thoughts just keep coming and coming. plus this is a pink thought its nothing like red.
