skin || bae jinyoung

epilogue

it's been two years.

hyunjin stared out of the window, forgetting about the paper her professor told her to finish in two days. the task was being such a burden to her. she didn't even understand why did she decide to actually go to university. since two years ago, she hadn't been doing well.

if it wasn't because of her friends and family supported her with all their might, she might disappear also. its guanlin trying to get the idea planted inside her mind. his words from two years ago rang through her head everytime she felt herself falling, going back to the time she hoped she'd never experienced.

"life isn't all about soulmates," guanlin told her, the exhaustion in his voice was clear. "there's so much more to achieve, there's so many chances you still have. if you're just gonna throw them away like that, what's the point of you fighting to survive all along?"

and that's when she started to build herself back up, proving herself that she's strong enough and proving him that after all, you can always start again.

two years ago, hyunjin went with guanlin and eunha to go find the boy he talked about, but instead, they ended up going to a hospital. hyunjin was suffering worse than usual, thinking that she couldn't handle the trip. but along the way, she eventually blacked out and woke up three days later.

she woke up to the sight of her family being in tears, panicking as if she really was gonna die. her best friend eunha was definitely crying, and guanlin was nowhere in sight. they were so relieved when she opened her eyes, hugging her like she's something precious.

she couldn't understand.

there was no more pain. not at all. the bruises were there, but her whole body was fine. the doctor told them that she was just having a shock, but somehow needed more treatment so she had to stay in the hospital. so she stayed, listening to what the doctor told her without asking anything, despite being so curious.

two days later was when she found a note on her palm;

i'm really sorry.

she quickly called guanlin, asking him for a pen. he was confused for a split second before realizing what hyunjin needed it for. but he just sighed and sat on the chair next to her bed.

"he said he's sorry," guanlin said. "you don't have to answer that one."

"i was gonna ask if he's okay—"

"he is. you don't feel anything, right? you don't feel the pain, right? it means he's not suffering right now. you guys are both fine."

"i want to hear it from him."

"you wouldn't."

hyunjin stared at guanlin with her brows furrowed, not believing what he said. "you can't tell me that."

"i can."

"no."

"hyunjin," he said sternly. "a suicide case was found on the day you passed out. it happened at the town where we're all about to go .... the guy who commited it had written the exact same thing on his palm and he was ... he was holding my jacket also."

hyunjin remembered being in denial, wanting to go find bae but guanlin and eunha held her back. bae jinyoung, the name she never get to speak with her own lips, was no longer there. he left nothing but a sad mother and three words written on his palm. more evidence of hyunjin's writings which were barely visible were there on his arms. he was gone.

he was really gone.

tears escaped her eyes as she thought about it again. jinyoung had a chance, jinyoung had a reason to actually keep going, hyunjin was just too late to come get him. they could've met, they could've been together, she could've been a reason for him to actually smile—

ah. this hurt.

hyunjin got so sad thinking about him, ended up regretting everything. she should've come faster, she should've shown him more that she actually cared. and now she's soulmate-less. she didn't actually mind it that much but it's just that ... she could've helped him. he could've been alive still ....

all the should have and could haves were torturing her mind day by day. hyunjin suddenly felt guilty over things she shouldn't even feel that way for. his name kept replaying in her head, the pictures of him which guanlin showed her were haunting her mind. she even had to go to his house and talked to his mother. she was no one, but she missed him. she had just known him from words written on her skin, but she wished he hadn't leave.

but it's okay, she's okay. after all, maybe she learned a lesson. she fell deep when she lost him, but then she raised up higher, stood up taller. she knew that she was strong enough to continue, to keep going to fight to survive in the world.

a cup of coffee in front of her eyes brought her back to reality. the smell of a really familiar perfume danced in her nostrils. she turned her head away from the window, seeing guanlin tried to take a sit next to her with a big gummy smile on his face.

"do you need help with those?" he motioned to the paper.

and she knew, it was a new start.

✧*:･ﾟ
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