Coping With Clarity

Chapter Three

The third time Selena “accidentally” stumbles into Ward Thirteen is a day later. Her mom is signing out, scrubbing down and ordering takeout for one of their rare nights at home. So while she does Selena lets her curiosity guide her.

The swinging doors are held back for once, like they were being used, she easily strolls in. The third time Selena “accidentally” goes to ‘see’ Demi she’s not there.

Door open. Bed made. Empty.

It provokes an unusual panic in Selena that is usually reserved for cases were she actually ‘knew’ the person. Like when she said goodbye to her next door neighbor, Jake, in L.A. But not from seeing the empty room of a girl she had only ever spoken to twice. Not that she recalled their entire exchanges, or anything.

Selena ends up standing, staring in for a good two minutes while she internally, and secretly, freaks over where the girl might be. Was she okay?

The third time Selena goes to see Demi she’s not there and Selena gets into another ‘unwanted’ conversation.

“Can I help you?” The voice is deep, the owner masculine and, she won’t admit it but, he made her hit her head on the doorframe in surprise.

“I’m so sick of people asking that!” She exclaims rubbing her face.

He -can’t- be older than her. He is obviously going through that awkward gel-in-hair phase that most boys ditch at age twelve. But his cheeks are strong and Selena finds, while giving him the ‘once over’, he must be older. His uniform is blue, from his shirt to his pants; a stethoscope wraps around his neck and a watch hangs from a name tag that reads - “Henrie”.

“Wow, okay. You lost?” Joy. Its like her life is on repeat.

“That too.” She grumbles. ‘Henrie’ doesn’t seem to be able to control his hands as he stands there. They swing from his sides to his neck and Selena wishes his uniform had pockets so he would just stop.

“Ookay, give a guy some margin of error!” He even sounds like he’s in the middle of a sarcasm kick. Selena could tell. No one wielded sarcasm like she did.

“Sorry. Its been a long day.”

It had been. There had been an incident in one of the wards her mother ran. There had been emergency procedures ran, alarms rang and panic amongst the patients. There had been blood.

‘Henrie’ seems to notice her thoughtful expression, his reply was level.

“Always is.”

Somehow his whisper reminds Selena why she was standing outside an empty room in a private ward. She speaks chancing that the boy held any information.

“Um- do you know where Demi is?”

Henrie seems a bit taking a back at her change of conversation.

“Demi?”

“Yeah. The girl in room three?” Selena gestures behind her.

“Oh Lovato; Demi.” Henrie at first wears a smile like he’s happy he remembered but its quickly toned down. Most likely because of the important look on Selena’s face. On the plus side, Selena has Demi’s last name.

“She’s out for treatment at the moment.” Henrie reports in a matter-of-fact way that makes Selena wonder if he’s been implanted with some sort of adult micro chip.

“What kind of treatment?” Demi’s words ring in her head. What was it? A.S.L? A.M.L?

Henrie leans into Demi’s room, ignoring his intrusion of Selena’s personal space. His stare reaches the hidden IV hangers that Selena is shocked to discover.

“Must be chemotherapy.” Henrie seems to snap into concerned staff member again. “Are you a relative?”

Selena is still fixated by the presence of the IV hangers. Chemotherapy. Wasn’t that for...

“Um...no; we talk.” Selena realizes she’s not really anything to Demi and maybe it was weird for her to come by. “She’s just usually there.” She drifts. She’s not really anything.

Henrie nods. Selena pauses on her thoughts briefly and then meets the still present gaze of Henrie.

“You work in here?” She’s doesn’t know why she’s asking. She’s had enough of new.

“Why?” Suddenly he’s like the annoying older brother she was fortunate not to have.

“Just look a little young is all.” He does. Especially because his scrubs are a tad too big and his eyes are a little wider than everyone else's’. He laughs in a force matter and slaps a hand on the wall beside the room. Trying to be smooth. It was obviously a harder slap that he predicted from his slight wince at the contact.

“Well, I’m kind of a genius...if you-”

“Oh God.” Selena throws up her hands to put up some ‘invisible’ barrier between them. Similar to how Demi’s sister had. She can almost feel the bile rise in her throat at his lack of subtly. “Oh Jeeze, look, I have a boyfriend.”

Yes, a boyfriend. A very cute, curly haired, sweet boyfriend. Who hasn’t called in three days and didn’t say ‘hey’ when he passed her at her locker this morning. But a boyfriend nonetheless. Henrie, luckily, catches on.

“Right! Totally, I wasn’t - I mean- Ha!”

His struggle to take back his flirt almost results in offending her. Nervously he begins to rapidly talk his way out of his words.

“No! Not that your laughable or anything - ha! Wait - I didn’t mean...”

Her welcome is overstayed. Her purpose for visiting is apparently undergoingchemotherapy and that is enough reason for her to go and to fret over every scary little possibility. The clench in her stomach drops. She’s actually a little shocked.

“I gotta go.” She stops Henrie’s rant before he could further embarrass himself.

Her red converse grace the floor just outside Ward Thirteen.

“Should I tell Demi you came by?” The squeak her foot makes when she stops is loud enough to be heard. Her mom is probably waiting.

“Whatever.”