Coping With Clarity

Chapter Eleven

Thankfully she makes it back to Demi’s room after the girl’s sister had vacated. Selena can’t hear any lingering guitar strings in the air, or see anyone wielding the instrument as a weapon after her. Even if she felt bad enough to deserve it.

Almost spitefully Demi is facing away from her; staring out of the window, legs crossed on the bed. Selena can’t see her profile but the air gives away the discomfort and a hint of perfume that doesn’t belong.

How long did her sister stay anyway? Nothing seems changed. The catalog is opened but covered by sheets. Demi’s foot twitches like it has pins and needles.

She takes a deep breath and finds resolve in hope. Stubbornness be damned.

“So, my douchey boyfriend asked me to prom and I said yes.”

Selena can’t help but feel pressure lift from her chest- the crushing stops. Demi jumped at her voice, but Selena sees her blatant determination not to face her. For now its fine, it makes it easier.

“You must be thrilled.” Demi’s response bored out. Making the whole idea of Nick taking her to prom sound more and more unappealing. The power in her voice reminds Selena of her mother’s ‘scribble’. Why was she the only one who seemed to have no influence, no strength over herself - let alone other people?

Her flats tap on the floor as she finds the end of the bed. She only stops when she can see the side of Demi’s face. Her chin is pointing down, sadly. Selena wants to prop it up with the pads of her fingers. She’s sick of unhappy.Unhappy needed to piss off out of her life for a while.

“See, you’d think I would be.” She sees Demi look at her out of the corner of her eye. The girl won’t turn her head just yet. “But I kinda told this really amazing and caring friend that I said ‘yes’, and she wasn’t best pleased.”

Selena doesn’t shy away from compliments because its true, and this is the one time when she can shamelessly win Demi over. To sort everything out. Because, as usual, her mother was right, Demi cared. And she showed it in her silence and unmoving opinion.

“She might have a point to dislike the situation.”

Demi leant back on her hands, her shoulders raised up. Selena could tell she was still annoyed at the revelation. 

Hopefully not for too long.

Tentatively Selena rounded the corner of the bed to approach Demi slowly. She’s weary because despite her weak state, Demi could still make her leave, she could still tell her to go. And Selena would, because she asked.

“Thats what I realized.” Selena whispered. “And I wanted to tell her that I’m glad she cares enough to tell me and worry.”

Part way through Demi gives in, she looks at Selena.

Part way through Selena wished Demi didn’t look at her.

“But your still going with him?”

She can see the caring girl there. She can also see the sedated girl. The girl in pain. The lonely girl she found when she was lost. Lost with Demi. She moved in closer. Demi watched her.

“As long as you know I’m not going to put up with anything he tries that I don’t want.”

She laced her words with her first promise to the sick brunette. Her first spoken promise. Because there are so many unsaid ones that keep pulling Selena back to Demi.

“You broke third person.” Demi’s lips tease her with a stifled smile. In her face she can only see the Demi who talks to her during late night shifts, conscious and funny. Loving life. Selena smiles back. Relief.