NSFW

Green Monster

"Clarke, I didn't know you'd be here," Echo said when he walked into the room Friday.

"I didn't know either," she said looking to Bellamy before taking her usual seat on the right side of the couch.

"Okay, what happened?"

"She..." Bellamy started with a boom that took Echo back a bit before he took a breath and continued softer. "She can't come until I do, what am I supposed to take away from that?"

"That's fair. Have you two discussed it?"

"He's avoided me since finding out yesterday morning."

"That's not true. I was talking to our guests."

"Yeah, that aided your avoidance! You had an out, you had a reason to avoid talking to me. How is that fair? How can we become better if you avoid talking about our problems?"

"I don't know how to talk about our problems with you! I try and try and I don't know what to say when you tell me you can't come!"

"Bellamy," Echo stayed calmly and he fell back into the couch opposite Clarke.

His breathing slowly went back to normal and Clarke's eyes wouldn't stop darting between them. Echo has this hold, this power over Bellamy that she never knew could exist. She calmed him, Clarke has never seen Bellamy so calm.

"I still can't wrap my head around it. That weekend we had a bath and she came countless times when I hadn't. Then yesterday morning happened and found out everything I thought I knew was a lie."

"I didn't lie to you, I never lied to you, Bellamy. I just never came before you."

He scoffed, "Literally or more so?"

"Both. It's all about you. It's always been about you, I can make myself believe that you came, I can make myself think that I come before you but I don't and never will."

"That's what you believe? That's what you think? Then why are you here? Why are you with me?"

"Because... because I love you and no matter how hard I've tried, I can't just walk away from you."

Clarke watched the muscle in his jaw bounce erratically as he absorbed what she said and the meaning behind the words. That she's tried walking away, that she's tried being done and leaving him and she couldn't. She couldn't leave because his hold on her was too tremendous. Clarke saw those wheels turning in his head, making the wrong assumptions of what she said and she still remained silent.

"Explain," Echo said and Clarke knew it was because she knew it wasn't what Clarke meant.

"I've tried walking away, haven't I? That night you stood me up six months ago, after our date, at the Japanese restaurant that knows us by name. I walked out three times and after every time, I came back. You're my addiction, Bellamy, and the only way to be free and clear of you is if I moved away, out of the city. Out of the state, but I can't leave you. I'm too in love with you, so please, stop acting like I'm going to leave and work with me to get us to a healthy place."

"Then marry me. I can't keep thinking you have one foot out the door."

"Bellamy," Echo warned.

"You don't—" Clarke shook her head. "I can't—we're not... Bellamy, you can't ask that of me!"

"Why not? You know that's what I want! I told you that months ago!"

"And I told you we were nowhere near ready for that. That we'd discuss moving in together and then discuss getting married. I thought that was a whole year away and it's barely been four months!"