NSFW

Hide and Seek

"Are you mad?" she asked when they were five blocks away from her parents' house.

"Not about the baby. I'm annoyed that you didn't tell me when you found out. I'm annoyed that you looked terrified when you told me, like I'm the villain who's going to take away all your hopes and dreams. I told you that I want a life with you, but we can't have that if you don't trust me."

"I just..." Clarke shook her head, her thoughts were flowing a mile a minute and she couldn't keep them all straight. "I tell you that I want to go slower, a progression into moving in together and getting engaged and married and then a month later tell you that I'm pregnant? It's mixed signals."

"Yeah, it is, but we can handle it."

"Handle it? It's a baby. You don't handle babies, Bellamy. That's not how it works."

"You know that isn't how I meant it and if you're not going to talk to me about it rationally then we won't talk about it until we're with Echo."

"Is she your immediate answer to everything now? You can't have a conversation with me without her being involved?"

He shook his head, "Don't do this right now."

"Why not? I'm your partner, right? You're choosing to share your life with me but you can distance yourself emotionally, you can save that for her? You can save the truth about Roma for her."

Bellamy groaned, "I knew you were going to bring her up. She doesn't matter, what happened between her and I was nearly a decade ago."

"But you won't tell me what happened," she deflated a little. She's not mad at him, she's fighting just to fight (and maybe because she's a little mad at herself too) and that's not fair to either of them.

"There's an NDA, neither of us can talk about it."

Clarke's mind was reeling, "A nondisclosure agreement? What did you do?"

"Why are you assuming it's me who did something?"

"Because she's a model, it's like Rihanna and Chris Bro—oh."

The cab stopped outside the house and Bellamy handed the guy a hundred dollar bill and wished him a Happy New Year before getting out, holding the door for Clarke and helping her out of the vehicle.

"I can't believe you made us have that conversation in the back of a taxi, Clarke," he said waiting for her to unlock the house.

She pushed the door open and stepped inside. "Did you hit her?" she asked barely loud enough for him to hear.

"No."

"Then why? I want to understand."

Bellamy groaned, grabbing her hand and pulling her upstairs to her room for privacy. He didn't know what her parents were doing for New Years but he didn't want them to know this about him. He still doesn't want her to.

"Roma and I... we were a mess, we sucked at communicating and it was the same thing physically." He sat on the edge of her bed, not really knowing how to say any of it. "She liked it rough, rougher than you, and I obliged, I liked it too. We were together for maybe three months before we went to Vegas for spring break and we got wasted and got married. We liked each other enough and the sex was good so we stayed together and no one really knew that we were married. She was getting modeling jobs after that so she wasn't around much and when it was summer, she was in LA going to auditions for movie roles so I saw her more and it was good. We were good and the sex was intense and we didn't know we should have had safe words. We didn't...