playboy. pjm

18~열여덟~

warning: near rape encounter in this chapter. I'll put a notice before the paragraphs but this chapter is lowkey important. Skip that paragraph if it is too much.

"How'd you start drag racing, Jimin?"

Jimin turned his head slowly to the side, making eye contact with a sleepy Yani as he pulled her closer to his chest. They were sat in the backseat of one of his convertibles, looking up at stars and trying to spot different star constellations. He sighed first, rubbing the goosebump flesh of her arm, trying to warm her from the nipping cold of the wind. "You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"It started around 2 years ago a few days after my birthday. Jin had told me very devastating news that had me ready to spiral out of control. I... had a girlfriend. Of 4 years to be exact. Her name was Kim Somin. We knew each other since 7th grade and grew really close." He drew in a breath. "We spent almost all our time together; blocked out the world and lived in our own. What we loved most was art and painting. Most of my works were inspired by her."

One day, in 10th Grade, I was at her house and," He started stuttering, his breathing getting a bit heavier.

Yani touched his chest, rubbing tenderly in comfort. "You don't have to continue."

TW/// near rape encounter/// skip if uncomfortable.

"I want to. I don't know, she wanted to... have sex and I guess, I wasn't ready. I mean, at that age, I didn't condone underage intercourse but she was more free than me. She tried to force me into doing it. What I remember of that day is that she put something in my drink. Something that made my nervous system shut down and I just, I couldn't stop her, no matter how hard I tried."

She-- She took off my clothes and started to kiss me and hold me everywhere. I tried telling her to stop but my words were falling on deaf ears. I remember, when she pulled my penis out, I started crying and screaming."

Tears ran down his already reddened cheeks as he struggled to continue. "You can stop."

"No! I want to tell you. She was so close, but before she could put it in, her mother barged in. It was chaos. Somin jumped off me and her mother started dragging her out of the room. I guess she heard from a few moments back because it was her daughter who she blamed. I ran out of there as quickly as I could, heading home and locking myself in my room."

[ENCOUNTER OVER: He almost got raped but he escaped and went to his room]

I started ripping every piece of art in my room apart. It was total carnage by the time I was done. My dad came in when I was sobbing in the array of colours and told me he would fix it. I burned all that artwork, vowing to never paint again because it brought back the pain I felt when she did that to me."

She got sent to jail. I was in a dark place. When I met my hyungs in a coffee shop, that was when my racing started. Jin was the one who called me over to their table, seeing as I was the little kid with the emo vibe. At that time, he was in 12th grade, but he had connections. I found students in my group of friends and we got really close. It's why they usually come to school at lunchtime to spend it with me, Taehyung and Jeongguk. They know I can't trust anyone here."

Anyways, on my birthday, they found out that I was abusing alcohol. They didn't know that I was drinking already but when they surprised me in my house, they found me downing my 3rd bottle of red wine. I was mess, I tell you. We talked. I let them know about everything. They promised to help me. So a week after, Jin gave me keys to his car and told me to go wild."

I fell in love with racing. I didn't have my license then but Hoseok showed me how to drive. I started using it as an outlet for my anger and eventually started racing for money. My parents found out just last Christmas and made me stop. So far, I hadn't really found anything to help me cope but... maybe that's changed."

Yani spoke softly, her own eyes red from what Jimin just told her. "I didn't think you went through that."

"No one would. Oh, and like you know, I built up a reputation in the school. I struggle to trust people, so I haven't really had a girlfriend since then."

"How many?" Her heart beat faster just thinking of the number.

"Our grade and the one below."

Yani's mouth dropped, shocked at the fact. "What?!"

"Yeah. I kind of regret it though."

"So have you done... what we're doing... with those girls?"

Jimin looked into her worried eyes and and smiled a little. "Doll, I wouldn't do that. I started BDSM a year ago. But I only did it with one boy. He asked me to, though."

"You're bi?"

"I'm open. I was his dominant but it didn't last long before I got bored."

He got bored. Yani only wondered how long it would take until he got bored of her. It had been 6 months they knew each other and she was scared it would all end too soon. "Oh."

"Don't worry, babygirl. I don't think I'll ever get bored of you." He positioned her so that she was straddling his waist. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks tinted pink, but his eyes were smouldering, tempting Yani into drowning in his brown orbs. "In fact, I think I might just like you, Yani."

She sat shocked, mouth opened in disbelief that Park Jimin caught feelings. "Excuse me?"

He exhaled heavily. "I like you. I know we agreed on a purely sexual relationship but... I couldn't hold up my end of the bargain. I've had these feeling for a while now, and I can't hold them in any longer. It's fine if you don't reciprocate them but please can we continue what we're doing."

"Okay. Um, I like you too."

His eyes widened at her revelation. "Really?" She nodded. "Okay. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

Yani eyed his plump lips, biting her own and giggling. "You're so bad at this."

Slightly annoyed, he clutched her closer so that he could speak into her ear. His voice was low as he spoke his satoori, something he never did to just anyone despite their location. "I asked you a simple question. Since you think I'm so bad at this, let me show you what I'm actually good at."

"And what's that?"

Her breath caught in her throat as he slid a finger between her slit. "Making you mine."