god, the universe, and everything in between

one

age 14

"who is she?"

"yeah, who is she? she looks... interesting."

i can't tell if their voices are full of wonder or just plain rude. i've always found it hard to tell the difference between curiousity and judgement. especially when it comes to people talking about me. 

i intimidate people, i guess. maybe it's because my soul is a burning sun, blinding everyone who looks at me. that's what my brother told me at least. i believe it.

"i'm sage. nice to meet you." i say to the group of girls, stopping in the middle of the hallway to acknowledge their comments. i hold out my hand and wait for at least one of them to shake it. nope. nothing. they stand there silently, and i imagine them as weeds. gross, overgrown, annoying weeds. 

no one likes weeds. period.

"uh, hi." one of them says as i put my hand down, imagining plucking them right out of the ground and throwing them away. 

"i heard you talking about me, i figured that i'd introduce myself." i reply in a fake (but very believable, mind you) amiable voice. i'm deciding whether or not to give these weeds second chance. maybe i was too quick to judge them. they still have the chance to sprout some flower buds, maybe even turn into a dandelion.

"there was no need. we didn't need to know." she says as she puts a purple-polished hand on her hip. i was wrong. she's just a weed. a weed that has chiggers infesting it. i mentally punch her in the mouth, smearing her red lipstick all over her face.

"wow, okay. got the message." i mumble as i turn around, resuming my expedition through the hallway. being a new student sucks. maybe i just suck, honestly. that could be it.

i chew on my bottom lip involuntarily as i make my way down the hall, looking around at all the different classrooms and students. i still have a little while until my first class, i think. i figured that i'd look around a bit. the weed girl's voice haunts the back of my mind. "we didn't need to know."  she repeats in my head. "well i didn't really want to tell you either, bitch face, but you initiated it."  i reply to her, rolling my eyes to myself.

i stop by the bathrooms, sitting down on a bench outside of them. i pull out my phone to check for any messages from my brother, ethan. none at all. i sigh softly and set my phone down in my lap, turning my attention to the passing people. they all look the same. too normal. and then i see something. or rather, someone. someone different. 

his eyes meet mine and my heart skips a beat. oh god. he saw me staring. good job, sage, you're really making some great first impressions. instead of giving me a dirty look, he cocks his head and furrows his eyebrows. my brain tries to turn my eyes to another direction, but my heart shoves it out of the way. we maintain eye contact for a long time. too long. his lips curve into a smile and i see him laugh, shaking his head slightly. my insides are melting. one of his friends looks at him and then to me, and i immediate dart my eyes back down to my lap. i wait a few seconds before looking back over, but the boy and his friends are already turning to leave. my lip sneaks underneath my teeth as i watch him adjust his bag on his shoulder. he looks at me again, mouthing bye before heading off in the opposite direction of me.

i feel like putty.

maybe this whole new school thing won't be that bad. maybe this whole new town thing won't be that bad. there's a light at the end of every tunnel right? unless it's carpal tunnel, i suppose. that's just unfortunate.

the first bell rings and i stand up, shoving my phone into my backpack. i follow the crowd of kids down the hallway. i have no idea where to go, so i decide to choose one and follow them. even if i were to go to the wrong place it would be fine because i'm new and i get lost easily. that works every time. 

as i'm walking into the mystery classroom i catch a glimpse of the boy across the hallway. our eyes find each other's and he winks at me. i give him a small smile before turning around, my insides igniting.