Shiver (n.h. + h.s.)(Punk!Harry)(Book One)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

I got your runaway smile in my piggy bank baby

Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes

You were worth the hundred thousand miles

"Harry... How did you know you were gay?" Liam asked one Saturday afternoon. The two of us were sitting on the couch as we played some stupid ass game Liam had brought over. Timmy was next to Liam on the other side of the couch, while my cat was sitting on my lap.

"I'm not gay, I'm bi."

"Well how did you know you were bi then?"

"Why the sudden question?"

"I just want to know..."

"I realized that I liked boys? I guess I found them easier to understand than girls, I don't really know Liam."

"Oh."

"Luke told me about what happened."

"I figured he would."

"Do you like Luke?"

"Yeah."

"You know he likes Michael, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you're okay with that?"

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, I mean there's nothing to really talk about... The person I wanna be with is out fucking another guy, there's not too much to that."

"It's obvious you're hurt about it."

"I'm trying not to be."

"Well by ignoring Luke, you aren't helping the situation."

"I know... I just don't know what to do. It's obvious that he doesn't feel the same way Haz."

"I know."

"Yeah."

"I also know that you'll move on Li."

"I know."

"Can I ask you something?" I paused the game, turning to look at my cousin. He let out a sigh before nodding, putting Timmy in his lap.

"What's it like to be in love?"

"Huh?"

"What's it like to love someone?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Cause you're the only one I know who's been in love..."

"I think it's different for everyone really Harry... I mean it's probably one of the greatest feelings in the world. It's like you're floating, and you can't seem to find a way down... but you don't want to. When you love someone, you love everything about them, flaws included. You don't care about those really... Because to you that person is perfect. You never want to be without them... and you can't seem to keep them off your mind."

"Wow. Love sounds... It sounds complicated."

"It is."

"I don't know what it's like to love someone... I mean with Alex, I thought that was love... but I think we were both using each other... I didn't want to be alone and all he wanted was sex."

"I think he took advantage of you, honestly I do... I mean he finally decides to make a move right after your dad died."

"Yeah... I realize that, but back then I was just a teenager wanting to be loved. God... I was such an idiot."