Alphas, Rogues, & Betrayal

The Meaning of 'Mate'

I awoke in the morning, the sun once again on my face.  I blinked as my eyes adjusted to it.  The snow did not help either, as it just reflected the sun’s dazzling rays and sparkled.

            The first thing I noticed was Raoul asleep behind me, snuggled against my back with his arm across my chest.  I was glad he had had enough sense to avoid my wounds.  The second thing I noticed was his other arm under my neck and his hand holding mine.  I could not believe, though, I was holding his hand back.  I growled, knowing my wolf was responsible while I had slept.  Still, I had to admit I was at least warm.

            I started to move around when I noticed the third thing.  I heard a few cracks as I moved my sore arm and leg.  I looked at my wounds and saw some dark green paste over them both.  I sniffed and smelled a faint trace of Tina’s scent in the air.  The paste had cracked when I had moved, as it was pretty stiff and firm from having dried out.  I was very happy to be able to move them, finally, without pain.  I sat up completely and yelped.

            I winced as the gash in my side throbbed.  I had forgotten about it in my relief of my other wounds.

            Raoul sat up next to me, smiling at me.  “Good morning beautiful,” he said, his gray eyes sparkling.  His black hair was tussled and stood out at ends.

            I smiled and opened my mouth to reply, when I remembered my pack and last night.  I shut my mouth and looked out the cave at the barren white aspen trees, white snow, and blinding light.  I cursed the mark, as it only strengthened and deepened our bond.  I had to keep my pack in mind if I was going to avoid giving in to him.  My wolf whimpered at my thoughts, unhappy.

            A strong, warm hand turned my face around.  Raoul looked into my eyes seriously and caressed my face.  His eyes were like a pool of dark silver.  I silently kept repeating my duty to my pack in my head to keep myself from giving in.  I cursed the mark again.

            “You’re mine,” he whispered.  “Please be happy.  I love you.”

            I stared at him seriously in return.  “I have a responsibility to my pack back at home,” I whispered.  “Especially if my brother has survived.  He would have succeeded our parents, but our father sensed darkness in him, something which would cause our pack harm.  If he has survived, I cannot let him take over my pack.  I must protect my pack.”  Again, I was fighting with my wolf.

            Raoul dropped his hand and began a low growl.  “You are home.  This is your pack now.  Your last pack means nothing to you now.”

            I stiffened at his words and glared at him.  “How dare you say so!” I growled.  “My pack needs me, and I will not abandon them!  Besides, at least we are a true pack, not some group of rogues pretending to be one!”  My wolf was whimpering now, torn between want and anger.

            Raoul growled even louder, glaring at me.  I held his gaze defiantly.  Finally, he was forced to lower his gaze.

            “I’m going to find some food,” he muttered, standing up.  He walked out, looking back at me once, a black silhouette against the sunlight.

            My wolf was furious with me, but I ignored her.  Instead, I focused on escape.  I could make a run for it, as this ‘pack’ was small.  I did not need a map or directions.  I knew where home was.  I had a sense for it, as did all werewolves, unless they moved somewhere else permanently, in which they would hone in on their new home.  I still needed a day to complete my healing, so the earliest attempt would be tomorrow.

            Raoul came back with some sort of cooked meat with a few herbs on it.  I dared not ask what it was, as I was partial to nature’s creatures.  I ate quickly, as I was starving.  I had naught to eat in a while.

            Raoul, sitting next to me, smiled at my appetite.  “I am glad you are eating,” he said, looking into my eyes.  “You will soon be strong enough to complete our ritual.”  He laid a hand on my knee.

            I almost choked on my bite.  Part of me, especially my wolf, was excited at the thought.  The reasonable side of me, however, wanted to leap up right now and run for it.  I stared at Raoul, my eyes huge.

            “I am only nineteen,” I said.  “I am not ready!”  My heartbeat had quickened at the thought.

            Raoul’s smile just deepened, his eyes sparkling mischievously.  “And?” he asked.  “You are plenty old enough.  Besides, before either of us are true Alphas, we have to have an heir or heirs.  I’m twenty-two by the way.”

            I just stared at him still, shocked.  “I told you I must return to my pack,” I whispered, staring into his gray gaze intently.

            His gaze darkened at my words.  “You can’t,” he growled.

            I sighed and rubbed my forehead.  “Raoul,” I said softly, taking his hand and looking seriously into his eyes, “I would love to stay here with you, but I just cannot.  You wish me to be happy, but I never will be unless I help my pack.  They need me.”  I looked away, silent tears running down my face.

            Raoul wrapped his arm around me carefully and pulled me next to him.  With his other hand he put my head on his chest and stroked my brown hair.  My wolf was finally happy, for now, at his gentle touch.

            “I’ll try to find a way,” he sighed.  “I may be Alpha, but you are Luna, my mate, and I want you to be happy.”

            I looked up at him, a small spark of hope in my chest.  “Thank you,” I whispered.

            Raoul smiled at me, looking deeply into my eyes.  Then he leaned down and kissed my lips gently.  For once, I did not protest and enjoyed myself.