Three days

Day 1

"You have three days" said the doctor to me after taking a look at my tests results. I didn't have any emotion left, all of it was taken away a long time ago, when I was diagnosed with Leukaemia. I was about 14 back then, staying at my aunt's house. I was feeling dizzy and a bunch of red spots appeared on my skin, it was midnight, I remember that day like if it happened yesterday. I tried to stand up and go to the bathroom but I fell, I was too weak to walk, the sound of my crash woke up aunt Lily. She came to me, afraid of whatever could've happened, when she saw me on the floor, she exclaimed and helped me to get back on my bed. "What happened, Luca?" She asked while she checked me. I couldn't talk, I wanted to close my eyes and wish this was a nightmare. And so I did it. When I woke up I saw aunt Lily beside me and a doctor was taking my heart rate. "Aunt Lily...?" I tried to ask but I couldn't figure out what to ask. The eyes of my aunt filled with tears as she looked at me. The doctor took some notes and looked at me. I knew something bad was happening to me but I didn't know what it was. "Leukaemia" said the doctor after both of them tried to make me understand that what I had was a terminal illness and that all I had to wait for was my death. Later that day, I made my aunt promise me  that she wouldn't tell mom or anyone about my sickness nor what happened. Ever since that day, I have been living in my aunt's house, she took care of me  taking me to the doctor appointments, and she would never tell mom anything.

Three days. These words were on my mind for a great while. "You should tell your loved ones, Luca" said aunt Lily while she drove us back home. "I don't love anyone, not anymore" I said roughly. She looked at the road, sad, she felt sorry for the life that I didn't get to live. I didn't want that. I hated that people were always feeling sorry for me. I am a normal person, right? All I have is a terminal illness and a super unlucky life. I'm gonna die soon, I got nothing to worry about. "Not even your mom? What about that girl, Amelie? That was her name, right?" I stayed quiet for a while. "Yes, her name is Amelie" I finally answered. "And what am I gonna tell her? That I'm gonna die in three days? That she better walk away?" I said. She stopped the car, the red light was right in front of us. Aunt Lily looked at me and said: "Luca, don't be like that, she's kind to you..." I interrupted her: "She knows about my sickness. That's why she's kind. You and her feel sorry for me because of my fucking illness" I said mad. I think I hurt her for the twentieth time. "I'm sorry" I said. She took a deep breath and drove again, the green light was shining now. "I'll think about it" I said feeling sorry, I've always been a jerk with her, since I was diagnosed. She doesn't deserve this, she took care of me, she endured the disaster of a person I have been for almost ten years.

I got out of the car and went inside the house, then headed to my room, or the room of my dead cousin that passed away when he was born, he couldn't breath well and his lungs couldn't stand it anymore. For my aunt it was devastating, and even worse when my uncle left her for another woman after that and we never heard of him again. Five years later, her nephew was discovered with Leukaemia.

My phone starts ringing. I throw myself on the bed and see who's calling. Mom. I don't talk to her since last week, and I haven't seen her since last Christmas, that was like seven months ago. I don't pick up. The phone stops ringing and I look at the black screen feeling empty inside, as usual. I leave the phone beside me and then I close my eyes thinking how life might be better now if I didn't have this stupid illness. "Amelie is coming for dinner!" Yells my aunt downstairs. I don't answer, I know she called and told her to come over. I look up at the ceiling and suddenly fall asleep.

I don't know how many hours had passed but when I woke up, it's because of Amelie. My only friend since I came to live with aunt Lily. She moved into the house four blocks away from ours, she was this annoying girl for me. Since I was the only one in here of her age, she came everyday after school to visit me. The first day of school she asked me: "why weren't you at school today?" That's when I explained to her my condition. I could've gone to school, but I didn't want to. Instead, I received homeschool with a teacher aunt Lily payed for me.

"Hello sleeping beauty" said Amelie next to me, smiling. I looked at her. "Hi" I said. Her smile disappeared all of a sudden, she read my expression and knew something was wrong but actually, everything has been wrong, since long time ago, why can't I remember that? "Luca? What is it?" She sounded concerned. Of course, her best friend is dying, why wouldn't she be concerned? "Amelie..." I said while I sat up on my bed. "I need to tell you something..." she looked at me without blinking expecting me to continue.

Her eyes filled with tears as she listened to me. "I'm sorry, Ames" I said to her. She didn't said anything, instead, she threw herself into my arms, broken inside. I hugged her. "Don't say you're sorry, this is not you fault" she said while trying to hide on my chest and dropping cold tears on my shirt. "I love you, Luca" she said almost in a whisper. "I love you" she said again. I didn't want to break her heart but I'm doing it right now. I always hurt the ones I love, that's why I decided I wouldn't love someone ever again, but all I did was hide all my feelings from everyone. I warned her before being friends, but she insisted that she'll never leave me. I treated her bad sometimes, but she always came smiling, she wanted to make me feel better, and she did it. Sometimes she made me forget all of this and made my old self come back again. We laughed, we cried, we did many things together for she was the only friend I had. And now, I was going to leave her with a broken heart. "I love you too" I said next to her ear. She didn't stop crying. Before I realized, my eyes were filled with tears, some of them dropped and got lost in her hair.