A Dandelion In The Sun {Watty Awards 2012}

Chapter 4: Moments of Change

It had taken so long for Peeta to convince me to have children. Years continued to go by, but it didn't dampen my fear. It wasn't that I didn't want to share that experience with him – I was beginning to find that I did – but the fear was crippling. Could I bring a child into this world knowing what the Districts went through, what the tributes in the Hunger Games dealt with? I had dealt with so much horror, death, loss, and pain. The thought of anything happen to a child of ours was terrifying.

"Katniss, we're in this together. You're right; we have seen too much death. We lost people we cared about, people who deserved all the goodness in the world, but didn't live long enough to get it. Instead of focusing on death, shouldn't we embrace life? Make a life?" Peeta had said as his final argument.

"I don't want to push you," he said softly, pressing his lips to my temple. "I just want you to think about it; really think about it."

I had thought long and hard about it, and I finally decided that Peeta was right. The fear was always going to be there, but I didn't want to deny Peeta something he really wanted. If I was honest, I wanted them as well; it was just a terrifying thought. With Peeta's help, I could do this.

The day I found out I was pregnant, my heart started banging against my chest and my breath was choppy. When I told Peeta, a sick feeling roiled in my stomach, but seeing his elation helped calm me.

As time passed and our baby grew in my womb, I woke from nightmares when she began to move inside me. Nightmares about evil president's or mutts kept coming after me, trying to take her from me. I would wake covered in sweat, my hand covering my stomach, as I fought to shake the vestiges of the nightmare away.

Peeta always woke when I did; his arms would circle me again, his hand resting on my stomach as well, holding me as close and as tight as he could. It usually helped me to fall back asleep.

One morning, I was antsy and needed something to do to distract me, so I dragged Peeta into the woods with me when he finished baking his loaves of bread. It was a warm day, with a soft breeze, and I knew just the thing to do. I took him to the lake I used to go to with my father.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he dutifully followed me. He was never far from my side, making sure I didn't stumble. It was annoying and yet somehow sweet.

"It's a surprise," I said with a slight smile.

After some more trekking through the woods, the lake came into view. His eyes widened. "It's not like I've never been in the woods, thought not like you have over the years, but I had no idea this was here."

I nodded. "I know. It was something that I shared with my father until it became discovered during the revolution. I wish I could have kept it secret, but I decided I really wanted to share this with you and make it special again."

He gave my hand a squeeze as we moved into the little clearing. I began tugging my shirt off and unbuttoning my pants. His eyebrows raised high.

"Um, you're going in?" he asked with some surprise.

I smirked. "Of course. So are you."

He laughed. "Well… okay. You won't let me drown, right?"

I snickered. "I'll do my best. You still remember the basic stroke, right?"

When he nodded, we dipped our toes into the water to test it, and then began to ease our way into it. It was chilly, but it felt good on my sun-warmed skin. Moving further into the water, I held my arms out and felt even more at peace. I kept an eye on Peeta as he followed me, though he stayed a little closer to shore in uncertainty.