She's Outta Your League

I Surrender

It did really shake me up , it was like when reality hits you . Yeah but not this time , this time was like when everything makes sense to you . Everything he has been doing finally makes sense to you ! Wow but then something again happens when everything just stops making sense to you . That happened too with me .
    
      The very next Sunday , l wore my jeans and top , my casual clothes to Sunday school ,when l entered I saw all eyes towards me , I thought maybe something was wrong but when l sat in my seat I realised I had been so busy that l actually forgot what people do . Just stare like it's a new person and when they realise they aren't they move on. I saw Mac just one seat across from me , Conrad sat on that seat ,has to be that lil devil .  I really don't expect much from Conrad cause he is just dumb sometimes , all l could see is Mac's one sided face which was pink as ever like he was pink always , what's wrong with me ? Am I just starting to notice everything or what? That very Sunday , Mac tells me he is going to Canada on the 18th of May and will be back by 18 of July . Then there is me ,  who screams "Wait what?!! 2 months?! 2 WHOLE MONTHS ?!" and then realise that everyone's staring at me , com'on there ain't no show going on ! Getting back to Mac . He was excited , Conrad was excited cause finally he was getting peace for 2 months and then also me who is looking depressed af.
      
               Mac looked pretty excited not like me . I was happy too but the reasons for him going to Canada were different , his grandpa had some issues and needed care so instead of being selfish , I left go of him . I didn't bother for 2 whole months , but it did strike me sometimes , it did hurt when he was away . It felt like thorns pricking my heart . It was like a grudge , no contact with him for 2 months was really a big thing for me .
    
         Sadly , Conrad's mom took his phone and now I have to live without my best friend too , it's painful . Very painful . Do you ever feel like an invisible thing just walking around , and not even bothered about the world around you? That's exactly what happened to me . I am finally surrendering all my pain and burden for now , so you can now say I'm emotionless or just a stiff doll for 2 months , no laughter , no joy . Just nothing . I surrender. I'm done for now...