Muses

Instant Noodle, a Reminder

triggers warning : depression and suicide trials.

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Keira simply liked instant noodles.

She meant it. Wholeheartedly. They're great. Convenient, cheap, delicious, hot. Good in every situation. It may not be the healthiest food, but still great.

Keira never really cared about her health anyway.

Nobody did.

Her parents divorced when she was 5. Keira lived with her mother, who remarried with a rich businessman. She never heard any from her father ever since the divorce and her mom only cares about money, clothes, and her new social life with the socialites.

She's a gold digger, that woman. Keira ever wondered if her mother still has any shame left.

Her stepfather is quite nice, but he's damn too busy. He is only at home like, maybe 2 days in a year. His business trips are like everything to him.

He and Keira's mom don't plan on having any children. Maybe they think Keira is enough a work. Well, she's actually a handful of work, no kidding.

She's a bit above average in school, but when it comes to friendship, it's like a big zero. Everyone has their own circle and Keira just can't fit to them. Don't even try to say Keira wasn't trying. She tried, and she tried so many time. The emo kids, check. The cool mean girls, check. The science nerds, check. The athletes, check. The weirdos, check. Even the full-of-hormones boys and the delinquents!

And she just can't find her place between them.

No, don't even mention boyfriends or significant others. She's not attractive. Her pale complexion gives impression as if she just arised from dead and not to mention, her face always looks tired, which scares everyone away. People don't even have the bravery to bully her.

Because of these conditions, she becomes a loner. No, she doesn't want to become one. It sucks to feel alone when the crowd surround you like crazy. It's bad to feel invisible even though you know you're not. It's better to step herself out of the world and living in her own world.

It's like she's only there to exist, to fill the empty space. Not to live.

She lost her sleeps. Lack of appetite. More an anti-social than a loner. Put herself out from the world.

Then, she started hearing voices in her mind.

Why don't you just die? Nobody needs you.

The world is a happier place without you.

You're pretty much a waste of times, money, energy, and matters. Worthless. Useless.

You're vile creature, making the world much more miserable than it already was.

Nobody ever wants you. Just die.

She fought them back, telling them it's wrong. She's worth of something. She's not waste of anything. She lives for one good reason.

She's good.

But slowly, she started to think it's right.

Well, I'm useless and nobody wants me in this world. So, why don't I just hurry myself to die? This world is so much better without me.

So she changed her trials. From trying to find her place among people, to trying to find her place in the other world.

I bet everyone's still fine when I'm dead. Maybe even happier.