rêveuse. [a love story by malorie wiley]

- Chapter 2 -

"Wake up, Theo! Please, wake up!", Claire repeated.

I tried to open my eyes but Claire had parted the curtains and was obviously trying to kill me by allowing the sun to shine exactly on my face.

"Thank God you're finally awake! We have to get to church soon and you're still not up. Did you forget to set an alarm?" She sounded relieved but a little annoyed as well because I had given up on trying to open my eyes and was slowly falling asleep again.

"THEO! Do not dare to fall asleep again! I didn't forget how ticklish you were and I bet you still are." She didn't have to say one more word to get me to sit up and get out of bed. Surprisingly, Claire's cheeks turned a little red. And as that was quite an uncommon view, I looked down and couldn't help but nervously smile. As it was very hot outside, I only slept in my underwear.

"I... Um... See you in a sec. You can eat on our way to church. I made you a sandwich." She quickly turned around and left my room.

Now, embarrassing would be the perfect adjective to describe what had just happened. But it's not like she hasn't seen me in my swimming pants in summer yet. I guess, it's the same as seeing a woman in her underwear, even though a bikini doesn't really cover more skin than the other does. I'll never get why we make such a difference between those two things.

At church, I wasn't able to focus on the sermon. Claire sat next to me. All I could think about was how God was able to create such a beauty. And how we sometimes don't see the beauty at the first, second or even hundredth glance. How it sometimes takes us longer. And how in some cases, we'll never get it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When I think about nature, it is nearly the same. Nature is so perfect, so well-made. But I don't always admire it as much as I probably should. When our focus is on a thing behind or next to the beautiful creation, we can only see it in a blurry way.

A few weeks ago, I stopped putting my work as a scientist into the center of my life. Even though I had always thought that I could become a remarkable scientist AND a husband and father, it just won't work out this way. And how am I supposed to be content at the end of my life when I wasn't able to share it with anyone? I love my family, don't get me wrong. I love them so dearly. And I love my friends. But the love you give and get from your wife and your children is irreplaceable. It is so precious. So pure. There are of course major side effects and it's not easy but I'd rather spent my life loving and loved than alone and renown.

And when I saw Claire and heard her laugh for the first time in months, I couldn't help but think to myself: "I would love to see and hear that beauty every day for the rest of my life.". Claire was such an uplifting, funny, warm, big-hearted, smart and unbelievably strong person. She hadn't had the easiest life but she managed. And she still laughed so freely. And she found her way into the loving arms of God. Or else, she wouldn't sit next to me right now.

I turned my head to the right and looked at her. She noticed, looked me in the eye and smiled. I also smiled lightly and got lost in her blue eyes for a brief moment. Then, I got up in the middle of the service and left the room. I went downstairs and into the room, we used to hang out in when we were about 13 to 21 years old.

It had changed a lot. They had painted the walls and the ceiling and even the furniture was not the same. It felt so familiar and - still - so strange at the same time. I miss that time.

Nothing worth mentioning happened after the service was over. I talked to a few people, smiled politely at a lot of people, shook many hands and was so happy to finally get back home. My tummy was already yelling at me for not giving him any food. The sandwich Claire had made for me was very delicious but we were already a few minutes past lunch time and my stomach knows when food normally gets delivered.

As my mother and father were very tired, I decided to be today's cook. And as always, Claire wanted to help. Did I mention that she always helps? You don't really have to ask as she seems to know before you do. She owns some kind of sensor, I swear!

I could tell you everything in detail but for now, I'm just going to say that we cooked together, talked about where I was right now and where she was right now in her life and we laughed a lot.

When I had to leave for the train to my hometown, I felt tired and sad. I was about to go back to my quiet, lonely apartment and read until I fell asleep again. It has become quite a routine. I do love to read and I do love to have my me-time. But I'd also enjoy staying here and have some company. Even if we were sitting next to each other and not talk at all.

Claire hugged me goodbye. I normally shake her hand - except for about four incidents where I just felt like hugging her. But today, she did it before I was even able to stretch out my arm. And I did not mind at all.

"You're going to hear from me next week! I know we were able to talk a bit while cooking but I think there's something that has slowly wrapped itself around your heart." She put her right index finger on my chest. "It's like you're smiling but actually crying inside." She sighed and smiled a little. "Sorry, I'm still not so good at not saying what I'm thinking. You know that you don't have to tell me anything. But you should tell someone what's bothering you. And I hope you still know that you can call me whenever you feel like talking or not talking. I can also just come to your apartment and sit next to you and not talk."

She stopped for a short second.

"I should stop rambling.", she mumbled.

"I'll call you, Claire. Thanks.", were the only words that left my lips. I hugged her again and walked to the train station.

It was about 8:20 PM when I sat on the couch in my apartment and decided to send Claire a text.

>> Hello Clé - haven't called you that in a while, huh? - would you like to come to my apartment on Friday at 5 PM and watch a movie & have a sleepover? We haven't had a sleepover in a while, either. It was so nice seeing you yesterday and today. Goodnight, Theo. <<

I was about to turn my phone's screen off but she had already replied with a simple:

<< Oh, Theo, I'd love to! Sleep well. >>