"The more space and emptiness you can create in yourself, then you can let the rest of the world come in and fill you up."
Lucas Robert Hemmings
The bus sways back and fourth as we drive down the road. Everyone's eyes are on each other, but most of them are looking at me, making me shift in my seat. I'm not scared, I probably should be, but all I feel is readiness. I know how to hold myself against guys like these. I lick my lips as I look at everyone. I can read half of them just by looking at them: but none of them will ever be able to read me. But I know what they're all thinking; he's tiny which makes him weak. But the thing is, I'm not. Just as the bus comes to a stop a guard stands up and we all stand up. I'm the second person in line, which is a mistake, before I know it someone pushes into me. I trip and the person falls to the ground. My eyes widen as the guy stands up and looks me straight in the eyes. I knew what was coming next but I still wasn't fast enough. His fit collides with my jaw and I step backward. My temper flares and I can't stop myself. I punch the guy back but he falls to the ground completely. I get on top of him and just start slamming my fits into his face. Before I know what's happening; my body is getting pulled off of the guy. I'm getting dragged out of the bus and my face is pushed into the cement beneath me.
My breathing is heavy as the guard puts his on my head: "Looks like we got another one boys." He says to his friends and they all laugh. I want to sneer at him but my face is to far into the ground to even breath. "We get tons of you little pricks!" I try to get out of his grip but he's stronger then me: "All transferred from youth corrections almost every month. Now, you got a problem. You've done all your time so far with kids, instead of real cons. So you damn well think you are tougher than you actually are, kid. Which means you're used to getting away like shit like this. Well, boy, you better learn real quick. Here, you throw punches at another inmate, we have a problem. Can you understand that?"
He pulls me up from the ground and pushes me toward another guard as he says: "Let this be your warning son." The guard that now holds me pushes me in into a building that darkly lit. Soon I'm pushed down on a bench. My eyes are plastered on the wall in front of me. My breathing is uneven and I want to punch a wall but my hands are cuffed and I don't want another fight with a guard.
"Great way to start off the day. Ever heard first impressions are everything? Pick a fight before you even step off the bus. " The guy next to me whispers to me but I don't even flinch.
"Hemmings." A guard says and I push myself off the bench and the gates open. "Let's go." He pats be down before saying "Shoulders must be against the wall."
Before I know it I'm standing in the shower. The shower doesn't feel like it use too. Now, the water doesn't soothe me but it makes me angry. As the water drips down my back my rage gets let loose. I lift my fit up and slam my right fit into the wall: "Fucking hell!" I scream.
///
I'VE BEEN STARING AT THE WALL for hours now, the light flicking on and off in the background, as I turn on my side and close my eyes. I've been here three weeks but it feels like months. I can Dan screaming again, pounding on the bars, as he cusses. Everyone tells him to the fuck up but what's the point? I hear the bell ring and I open my eyes; I know the drill. I roll off my bed and walk toward the door. It opens seconds later and I'm eye-to-eye with Haymitch. I lick my lips and bite my lip after so I don't talk. He's hands run up and down my body before he pushes me out my cell. I roll my eyes as I get behind Clifford and then Grayson gets behind me. As soon as we're outside we walk toward our spot. I lie down on the bench and lift the weights.
