Narelle

A brand new day

Chapter three of 'Narelle'! Enjoy!

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Some people say that when dawn rises once again, it's a brand new day. Everything restarts, and you can rewrite your legacy. But, when your life is haunted by a looming shadow that looks like a black portal to ultimate doom, you tend to block out the fact that once again a new day has come. For me, a new day means I have to face the shadow, hear it whisper toxic things to me, and I also have to deal with the brats at school too. But the 'mean girls' are easy to deal with: after all, it's just a pretty face hidden by her own insecurities. However, the shadow is way more complex. I try to be resilient, but sooner or later that resilience crumbles like those sandcastles you'd make on the beach when you were a child. Not that I ever made them, though. I had other things in my life to do than build something that'd just fall down anyway.

I get up, dress for school again and brush my hair (which is the exact same shade as the shadow, if I might add). I then walk over to my body-length mirror, and look at myself once again. I don't know why I do this- it's not like I've changed overnight. Maybe I just like to pick out my weaknesses. Wait, let me correct that. The shadow likes to pick out my weaknesses.
''Wow. You really don't look pleasing, do you? Ugh, your skin is way too pale. And that uniform looks like it's going to fall off your body. Your arms and legs look like they might snap in half, and everything about you is just so... hideous.''
It's the same thing each day. An insult about my body figure and all of my facial features. Except for my eyes. My eyes are never judged or sneered at, like everything else. It's like my eyes are safe from all of the mental torture, they've escaped. I only wish I could escape.

I walk down the stairs, and I enter the kitchen. It's spotless, as always. I'm not surprised, because everything in the house is spotless. Nothing's touched, my mum is never in the house anymore, my dad is gone and I just stay in my bedroom. As soon as I touch the handle of the stainless-steel fridge, my stomach gives an ominous growl. It's like a cry for fulfilment in a thunderous melody.
'Should I eat this morning?' I think to myself.
'YES. You need the energy to listen and do exactly as I say,' the shadow whispers.
I slam the fridge shut. I knew that I needed to eat, and the shadow was right about that, but hearing all of the wrong reasons as to why immediately changed my mind. Instead, I pour myself a glass of water. The house was completely silent, and the sound of flowing water was the only sound to be heard. I touch the glass my lips, and take a sip. In almost an instant, satisfaction fills my body. It was so refreshing, and I tried to cherish it for as long as I possibly could. However, all good moments must come to an end.
''You have no right to be satisfied, Narelle,'' the shadow sneers.
If there's one thing I've learnt in the misery I call my life, it's to never trust anyone, especially that shadow. But, it was right. I didn't have a right to feel satisfied. You only feel satisfaction when you're happy with something in your life, but I know for sure that's incorrect. So I abruptly put the glass down. So abrupt, in fact, that the glass smashed, and a shard sliced my arm.
''AAAH!!", I scream as I fall to my knees.

After a minute or two of clutching my matchstick of an arm, I examine the damage. I see red oozing out of the wound, but luckily it didn't look too deep. I cleaned up the blood, swept up the glass, mopped up the spilt water and headed off to school. Upon reaching the gates, I see the familiar crowd of mixed heights, genders and ages, all talking and laughing among each other. I roll my eyes and head to the library, burying my face into a book that isn't really that interesting. The bell blares once again, and I head to my first class for the day, which is math class. Unfortunately for me, maths is at the other end of the school, and I'd have to run in order to make it in time. However, being the person I am, I didn't care whether or not I was late, so I just walked.