Narelle

Unravelling the truth

Chapter Seven of 'Narelle'! Enjoy!

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*NARELLE'S POINT OF VIEW*

Telling Chase the truth is proving to be much harder than expected. But to be honest, spilling bottled emotions and personal matters to someone for the first time in years probably wasn't going to be easy. But I trust him, I really do. So I ignore the pounding in my head, and the angry voice of the shadow, as I tell my "enemy" all about them.
"When I was young, my dad was killed by a drunk driver, and he was never found. My mum threw herself into work, and I barely see her, I never speak to her, and it practically feels like two strangers are living together. I've always looked after myself, since I can remember. When I came home from my dad's funeral, a...." I stop, mentally preparing myself. Chase says nothing, but nods his head gently as to say 'go on, I'm listening.' So I continue on.
"A... voice... of some sort appeared in my head, and a giant black cloud that only I could see. It told me that I should've been in that accident instead of my dad, and that I'm to blame. Every day since then, it whispers crudely about my appearance, my lack of social skills, and everything in general that I could bring myself down about. I listened to it, every word of awful advice. Not because I wanted it to stop or go away, but because I genuinely agreed with the words that the shadow was saying. I believed it, and I still do. Then you turned up, and started hanging around me. Since you turned up, it stopped whispering, but grew louder into a scream. It gave me the worst headache every time. It's almost like you were the force going against it and it was trying to convert me back to the smallest fraction of myself. The pain in my head that it gave me was so unbearable sometimes that I had to screw my eyes and squint. Today, at lunch, the pain and the screaming was at a peak, and people were starting to look at me so I ran to a place where no one would be, to the bathrooms here. But they were locked and everything was starting to go fuzzy, so I hid in here, collapsed, and here I am."
Chase says nothing, and his facial expression also reveals nothing. He has the impeccable ability to keep a neutral state of mind in every situation- like I could. After about half a minute, he speaks.
"Narelle, I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, but this is abnormal. You need to talk to a trained professional who can HELP you. They're not going to judge or lock you away. It's their job to listen. It's their job to help you, so let them, please. And I also know that you're wondering about my secret. I'll tell you all about it once you have got yourself sorted out. And that's a promise. I NEVER break my promises. EVER. Narelle, I seriously believe that your health might be at risk, and if you really want to fix it, which I know you do, then let the doctors and myself help you."

He's right, of course he is. And his words honestly make sense, and I needed to hear them. He truly wants me to see a doctor, so I'll do it. For him.

"Alright then," I say. "I'll see a doctor. But I'm not doing it to find out about your secret. It's your personal business and I know for a fact it's hard to open up. I'm also not doing it for myself. I believe what the shadow says and I've coped with it for years."
"So who or what are you doing it for, then?" he inquires.
"I'm doing it for you, Mr Jawline," I say, with a faint smile. "You're the only person to care about me, not even I do that much. So I'll do it, because you've done so much for me already by just being there."
Chase smiles, and tucks his left arm around my waist, leaving the right to support my head as he gently lifts me up.
"Can you walk?" he asks, his arm still around my waist.
"Yeah, I think I can," I say. "But don't move your arm," I hastily add. Surprised with myself, I then add, "because my back kind of hurts from crashing onto it. Your arm kind of eases the pain."
He nods, and gives a small laugh. We make our way to the nurse's office, and there's no one around as the bell went ages ago. We get there and Chase explains the situation, as the nurse sits me onto a bed. She asks for my next of kin, and I bring my eyes to the ground, realising I don't really have any. But Chase responds to the question with ease.
"It's Samara Trenton," he says quickly. I dart my eyes to him, and he mouths "my mother". I can't stop myself from smiling, as I lie to the nurse and confirm that Chase's mother, who I have never met before, is indeed my emergency contact and next of kin.