fading memories // a.i.

3

2009

In August of 2009, me and Ashton made an agreement at 3:08 on a Friday morning.

I had called him that night at 12:15 because I couldn't sleep. Orientation for me to start high school was the next day and I was beyond nervous.

He had answered groggily, obviously already asleep.

"Lacey? what's wrong? are you okay?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up, I'm just really nervous for tomorrow." I told him.

"For your orientation?" He asked me, and I heard him yawn after that.

"Yeah. I don't want to start high school. I know I sound dumb, but I'm scared that everything is going to change." I whispered, hoping he didn't think I was over reacting.

He stayed silent for a minute before replying.

"You're not dumb." He told me.

"Everything is going to change. People who you thought were your friends won't be, they are all going to change and probably for the worse. But Lacey, I know you and you can damn sure rise above all of them. you're going to be fine. You're going to have the time of your life this year okay? No matter what happens." He said, sounding much more awake then when he answered the phone.

"But what if things between us change?" I didn't think he heard me considering my voice was below a whisper.

But he did.

"Nothing will ever change between us. Ever. We are always going to be 'Lacey and Ashton'. We are always going to be the same. Even when we're old and grey. Don't even worry about us."

"But what happens when I get a boyfriend? and you get a girlfriend that you really like? Are we going to stop hanging out or forget each other?" I asked him, getting more anxious by the minute.

"Of course we won't stop hanging out Lace."

"Can I tell you something and you swear you won't laugh?"

"Yes."

"What happens when I have my first kiss and he doesn't actually care about me at all? I know that's stupid but I want my first kiss to mean something to both of us and not just so some 11th grader can get into my pants."

It stayed silent, the only sounds being our slow breathing, seemingly in sync with each other, before he finally spoke.

"We could be each other's first kiss." He blurted. I knew he didn't think about it before he said it because immediately after I heard what sounded like a hand being brought up to cover his mouth.

"I mean only if you wanted to, it wouldn't be like, weird or anything because it would just be so that your first kiss would be with someone who cared about you, but I mean not like that I just mean-" I cut him off to stop his rambling.

"Okay Ash."

"What? Okay?" He asked me, sounding surprised that I had said yes.

"Yes. I mean, we both care about each other a lot and you obviously don't want to get in my pants, so okay." I said.

"Swear?"

"Triple swear." I said.

Triple swear was something me and Ash made up when I was almost 9 and he was 10. A triple swear was absolutely unbreakable and to do it you locked your pinkies with the other person and then high-fived.

Sure it was dumb, but dumb was our thing.

"Listen Lacey, I love you and I'm glad you called so that we could talk, but as of right now it is 3:08 am and you have orientation in 8 hours. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When we both hung up and my eyes finally allowed themselves to close, I slept the best I had in months.