damaged • jimmy darling

CHAPTER THREE: SETTLING IN

  As soon as Elsa had left I started getting my new trailer situated. I loved the fact I wouldn't have neighbors yelling and banging on my walls anymore. I wouldn't have to worry about paying the rent every day. No having to bother with people who would shout and scream at me from across the hall if my actions where too loud. I absolutely loved it! I felt like laughing and squealing in glee. In a way, I was free. And by god did it feel good. 

  I started to unpack, putting my clothes in a small closet near the kitchen. Yeah. A closet! And a kitchen! I could actually make meals in here. I was loving this more and more every second. I put black curtains over my windows, shading me a bit from the harsh sun. I laid down my white blankets and sheets. I had a small stereo and I placed it on the table, turning on a channel as I started to decorate my trailer. I moved my hips to the music and nodded my head back and forth while I hung up a Frank Sinatra poster. 

  I took off my hat and sunglasses, as well as my cardigan as it was hot. As I was putting my mirror up in my bedroom I caught a glance at myself. Since I had taken off my cardigan, I could see my shoulders and some of my back. I flinched when I saw it. I turned away, breathing out slowly. I didn't like looking at it. I then remembered. I needed to get used to it if I wanted to be here. I breathed in and turned around to look at myself in the mirror. I sighed, tracing a finger on my shoulder. I turned my back fully and I grimace. I looked away from that and looked at my eyes. They had dark circles under them as usual, somewhat sunken in. My eyes where slightly bloodshot as well. I decided to just keep unpacking. 

  After some time I decide to sit down and read. I picked up the book, The Catcher in the Rye. People didn't really approve of me reading these sort of books. They said it was improper for a young lady such as myself to read books with such "big" words. I was fully capable of handling subjects like this. I hated it when people thought I was dumb. It made me want to snarl. I opened the book to where I left off and began. 

  As soon as I started I was pulled in. It really was a good book. I was so into the book that I didn't at first hear the loud knock on my door. It was only the second time that I dropped my book and notice. 

  "Um, coming!" I call out. I doggy ear my page and just as I was about to go to the door did I forget I was not covering myself. I picked up my cardigan and threw it on, also putting on my sunglasses before opening the door. I saw it was Eve and I smiled. "Hello." 

  "Hey. Elsa wanted me to get you for dinner." She said. I nodded and walked out, closing my door. I follow her. We were quiet for a moment before she spoke. 

  "So, where you from?" She asked. I looked up at her. 

  "New York." I answer. "You?" 

  "California." She answers. I nod, looking down at my feet.

  "If I might ask. You don't really look like you belong here. I don't mean any offense. How did Elsa find you?" She asks. 

  "I had preformed a gig at a bar and the manager had decided to give me half of what he owed me. I would have lost my apartment and living on the streets again if Elsa had come and found me. She told me she had a place where people where different.So, I left my old life behind only yesterday and now I'm here." I explained. She nodded. I was careful to drive away from the subject of my deformity. She noticed this and stopped from asking. It was nearing dark, the sun still in the sky but seeming to set. 

  We arrived to the main large tent and we walked inside. I was immediately met with many people talking and laughing at a large table. I swallowed a large lump in my throat, my nervousness suddenly coming back. I felt like I was sweating. Eve and I walked up to the table and everyone looked at us. The first I spotted was the conjoined twins. One of the heads was attached to the other. One looked at me with a smile while the other had on an emotionless face. Elsa stood from the head of the table, opening her arms out.