damaged • jimmy darling

CHAPTER EIGHT: AFTERWARDS

  Lisa's POV

  As soon as I showed Elsa I felt very relieved. The icy hands were gone. They disappeared right after I finally told someone. It felt good. To tell a person without them running in fear. I knew it was a very gruesome sight to see but in a way it made you look twice. Maybe if I built up some confidence I could walk out on that stage and hear their gasps and smirk. I just didn't know if I was ready yet for all that. 

  I zipped my dress back up and put on my cardigan. Elsa seemed utterly happy at me finally showing her. She smiled at me widely and shook her head in amazement. She walked over to the edge of her couch and looked at me, pulling out a cigarette from seemingly nowhere. She nodded at me, lighting it. 

  "I knew I made the right decision with you." She told me. "That, is nothing I have ever seen before and when I say something like that you should appreciate it." I smile a little. 

  "Thank you, Elsa." I tell her. I didn't know what to do anymore. She then stood abruptly. 

  "We must show everyone. We must get you a part in the act. And of course! A poster! But we must think of a name for you." She said, talking very fast. Before I had a chance to speak she clapped her hands and lifted her arms. "The real life Fallen Angel. Perfection!" She then walked up to me, linking her arm in mine. "We must show the others and figure out where to put you." She lead me out of her tent and it all felt very rushed. 

  "Do you think it's a good idea to show them now?" I ask.

  "But of course!" She exclaimed loudly. "You must show them just as you showed me. It will be your big opening. Tell me, do you have any talents?" I think about it. 

  "I don't really know..." I say. She waves her hand. Did I? I mean I danced a little as a kid and I think I got s knack for it but is that enough to preform on stage with?

  "We will figure something out later." She says. I gulp. I didn't think I was ready for this. Another part of my mind told the other to shut up and I looked down to the ground as I was pulled to the main tent by Elsa. She opened the curtain and there everybody was. Pepper, Salty, Ethel, Eve, Suzi, Bette and Dot, Paul, Ma Petite, and Jimmy. On us coming in Jimmy looked to me and we locked eyes. He could see my minor distress in my face and he knit his brow. Everyone turned to me and Elsa. She rose her free hand up. 

  "Everyone, may I have your attention please." She said. They gave us their full attention now. I started to sweat. 

  "Elsa I don't want to do this yet." I whisper to her. 

  "Of course you do." She states simply and smiles to the rest of them. I breath in. I could do this. Just show them like you showed Elsa. They knew even more since they were like me. Elsa straightened up. "I would like to tell you all that Lisa has finally come out of her shell, and would now like to show all us what she is." She gave a small bow and released me from her death grip. I looked at all of them and they started to clap. I gave a nervous smile. 

  "Go on the stage!" Eve called and I looked at her in minor horror. Everyone cheered loudly. I gulped once more. I felt as if I was shaking but managed to make it to the stage in a graceful motion. I stepped onto the stage and everyone looked up at me. I glanced at Elsa. She had a supportive grin on her face. Well, it was now or never. I sighed and turned around. I felt all their eyes on me as I took off my cardigan and unzip the back off my dress. I heard some gasps, all of them stopped clapping. I closed my eyes, embarrassment washing over me. I then heard a slow clapping and I turned my head to see it was Jimmy. 

  Other's started to join in until it was everyone clapping and whooping. I smile, relieved. Jimmy whistled with his fingers and I chuckled. I glance at Elsa and saw a "I told you so" look on her face. I smirked at her. I guess I did fit in for once. 

  After I showed them my back wings and went off the stage they started to talk to me crazily, telling me welcome to the Freak Show, how they knew I would come out all along. I smiled at their acceptance. Ethel came up to me and shook my her head. 

  "Like I said before, I should have never judged a book by it's cover." She states. I smile. 

  "Thank you." I say. She shrugs. 

  "Your one of us now. You deserve it." She told me and then patted me on the shoulder. Next was Jimmy. He smirked. 

  "I knew you had it in ya. You just had to show it." He tells me and I smile. 

  "Hey you helped." I say. He rose a brow. 

  "I did?" He asks.

  "Well yeah. What you told me down by the lake gave me inspiration to come out." I explain. He gives a quirky smirk. 

 Later I was in my trailer, thinking before we rehearsed for our act. Elsa was already making me a poster. My new name was: The amazing Fallen Angel. Strange but still, it seemed to fit. I was lying down, staring at my ceiling with my hands over my stomach. I guess I didn't really have to wear a cover up anymore which was nice so I could let some skin show instead of being heated in the sun all day long. I thought about their reactions. 

  They seemed so...happy. I found it happy as well that I was finally being accepted and everything but...if they knew how I got the little stubs on my back then I didn't think they would be so happy. What I went through. I didn't want to have it. What I went through was monstrous. No one should go through what I went through. All because of one person...one person. That is who did this to me. I felt my face scrunch up in disgust. 

  One person can do a lot. Especially to others. One goddamn horribly, vile human being did this to me. That is why I was so ashamed of it. Because of how it all happened. I sat up. Even thinking about it made me want to throw up. I just had to stop it. I had to stop thinking about it and settle on how I could help around here. 

  "Wow, so this is my very own poster?" I say. I watched as Eve climbed up a latter to hang the large poster on a pole. I was outside the show, near a dirt road and trees as I watched the poster labeled "THE REAL LIFE FALLEN ANGELS" in yellow words being put up. It was me, my long blonde almost white hair down to my waist, my back to show my "wings", my face turned as well, a smirk on my face. I had on a long white dress that made a V down my back to show the scars and a scarf on my neck, my hands holding it as if hugging it. It looked so unlike me but in a way I liked it.

  "Yes, your very own." Elsa said, taking a drag. I smiled at it then looked at her.

  "I like it." I tell her. She gives me a small smile. 

  "Good. It'll attract attention too. It is very unique." She tells me. 

  As we walk back inside I spot Bette and Dot looking at me. Dot looked utterly unpleased upon seeing me as I pasted by and even Bette looked a bit sour. I rose a brow. I wonder why they were giving me that look.