Fighting temptation

Chapter 4

*Selena's Pov*

"I can't believe I am going through with this," I say to Kayla as I'm doing the finishing touches on my hair while trying to calm the butterflies in my tummy.

"You can do this Selena, don't chicken out now."

I've decided I'm going to tell Jaxson how I feel. Right now I am so thankful for Kayla's support. She's always known my feelings for him and thought I should have said something long ago but, I couldn't! Even now I am so scared this is going to ruin our friendship. No, I won't let that happen. I know he probably doesn't feel the same way and it will hurt to hear it but I can't let him go without telling him that I love him. I've thought long and hard about this. What if he gets sent out right after his training? I know I would always regret not telling him how I truly felt if something happened to him. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach.

"I'm so scared this is going to strain our friendship," I look over at Kayla worriedly.

"If he tells you he doesn't feel the same way, he's fucking lying," she says coming up behind me in the mirror. Leave it to Kayla to say exactly what she thinks. It's something I admire her for.
"I don't know Kayla, you know Jaxson, he doesn't believe in love."

"That's his daddy issues talking Sel. Believe me I have seen the way he looks at you. If he denies it he's lying."

I take a big breath and shrug, "I guess I'm not expecting him to say it back. I'm doing this so I have no regrets and he knows how deep my feelings are for him."

"Well when you tell him you love him, if he says he doesn't feel the same way, you could always say 'just kidding'," we both burst out laughing. Then her smile vanishes and she looks at me seriously, "He's lucky to have you Selena, and believe me, when he sees you tonight he's gonna flip his shit. You look amazing. I mean, you're always beautiful, but tonight that boy is not gonna know what hit him."

"Thanks Kayla," I say softly, my throat feeling tight at her compliment. I'm so lucky to have her in my life.

I look again in the mirror. I decided on a short denim faded skirt that shows off more leg then I ever have. It has some light pink peekaboo lace around the bottom that makes me feel cute but sexy at the same time. I borrowed Kayla's top, which isn't indecent by any means but a little more revealing than what I'm used to. It's a spaghetti-strapped light pink lace tank that matches the bottom lace of my skirt. It shows just enough cleavage of my C cups that it's sexy but not trashy. Thank goodness I wasn't any bigger or the tank wouldn't fit.

My long chestnut brown hair falls in loose waves since I went against straightening it. Kayla says people pay big bucks to get loose waves like this so I should appreciate it more. Kayla did my make up tonight and made my aquamarine eyes really stand out with the smoky eye shadow she did. Her mascara makes my eyelashes twice as long and they already weren't lacking in that department. Mama always used to tell me she loved my eyes, she said they reminded her of the Caribbean Sea.

Grams tells me all the time I look like mama, but I wouldn't go that far. We do have some similarities but I don't even come close. I have yet to see anyone as beautiful as my mother. Thinking about this makes me smile and remember the night I fell completely in love with Justin.

It was almost a year after we had met. I always had a little crush on Justin because he was so darn sexy. The more I got to know him I realized there was so much more to him then he let people see. We were at our usual spot on the beach where I would sneak out at night and meet up with him, just to hang out and talk. We would do this often and sometimes stay until sunrise. We were lying side by side staring up at the stars and out of the blue he asked if I was happy living in Sunset Bay...