Fan 4 Life

Talking To My Heart

So... where were we?

Yeah, that awkward moment I'm sitting beside Zayn as he tells me he wanted to talk.

Like-- What does he want to talk about?

Will he lecture me again or scold me?

I don't freaking know, but one thing's for sure...

My heart's beating so fast I couldn't breathe normally.

I can feel my cheeks heat up as his gaze met mine.

I was admiring his perfectly formed face and how I actually made him my favorite of the band..

Yeah, it all seemed as if it was just yesterday that I was 'dreaming' about one day meeting them, and now they're like here.. living with me.

"What.. to.. talk about..?" I asked, turning away from him before he could see me looking so heated up.

"It's about me," He sighed.

I turned to face his direction and he hopelessly covered his face with his hands.

"What.. do you mean..?" I asked, rubbing his back tenderly.

He turned to me, his eyes as if begging me.

I couldn't take it, it's just too cute.

His eyes were fixated on me and he softly muttered,

"Please forgive me.."

Those three words made my heart race.

Why is he saying this?

By the code of fanatics, your idol apologizing is definitely a big no-no! The fans were the ones who always apologizes if ever--

"You didn't do anything wrong," I said, smiling.

"No, my attitude to you is terrible. I know that myself. I am a terrible person!" Zayn replied, his voice cracking.

A pang of pain struck me in the chest, making me teary-eyed.

Zayn, being like this, it hurts me.

It hurts me too.

Zayn's POV

I was aware of my attitude and I felt really guilty.

The four boys have already been close to her and yet I was the one left out all because I felt confused.

I wasn't sure of what I'm supposed to be feeling.

I wasn't sure if I should be happy that someone already took us in or should I be sad because I am homesick.

I miss the comforts in England, where the five of us wouldn't be sharing one couch, instead, one big bed for each of us. I miss my family and friends, especially Perrie. I can't believe the four of them resolved to this plan on breaking up with our girlfriends before leaving because it might cause both parties to be in pain.

But somehow, living with the Smith's has been fun. I guess I have to admit, Gail is pretty nice and so is her friend, Victoria.

That's why I wanted to settle things with her.

"You are not a terrible person. Don't say that.." Gail softly said.

I turned to face her as I can see her eyes watering, tears about to fall.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, wiping off one of her tears.

"I.. I just hate to see you guys sad.. And you're feeling miserable... I'm sorry," She softly cried, as I placed her head on top of my shoulder.