Emotionless - A World without Emotion

Black

I am Lina.
Lina, a simple name. That's all you need to know. That's all the world needs to know. That's all that exists. My name and my body.
However, I am his daughter, the daughter of the man who made the "emotion organization", the man who made the emotions disappear and unreachable, the man who created the world without emotions and I live Right in the Centre of it. There is bist silence around, me silence and no emotion.
But there is one thing, one thing which nobody knows. A thing that should not exist and of which not even my father knows. I still have them, at least one part of them, I still have a tiny part of all my emotions. I am not an unrestrained and emotionless zombie like everyone else, I can still feel. Feel what others can not. That is my secret.
But I have to hide it. Nobody should find out this secret, never!
Because feeling emotions is forbidden, it is an unforgivable offense and in the worst case it is punished by the "emotion organization" with  death. My emotions and feelings have always been very different, they were very impressive and also very strong. Oh, I've always had a big will, that's probably why my dad could not take away all my emotions, but he could take them from the rest of the world.
It's good that I can still feel, because then at least I'm not one of the emotionless zombies that go to work day after day, but the disadvantage is I can still feel.
The pain. The fear, all that I still feel. Also the grief, the grief that the people I loved before have no emotions, but I still have a part of love and friendship which connects me with them but they don't know that.
Every day I feel it, the infinite pain. I have often tried to block the emerging feelings of grief but that is impossible.
I laugh when I am happy or something is funny and I cry when I feel the pain, but that is something that should never happen, because who laughs and cry's has feelings and they are forbidden. I have to hide it. No matter how sad I am, the tears have to stay away, no matter how funny I find something, I can not laugh, not even grinning or smiling is allowed. It would Show everyone my secret.

Every day I wake up and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, which awakens a part of the joy in me but I can not show it even if I then look in the mirror and think that I'm pretty, because I share a room with my father, the ruler and creator of the world without emotions.
I ask myself so many times; Why? Why did all this happen? why did he do that? Why did he take the feelings from all humanity and shut them away? Why did he put them in glasses as if they were insects and lock them in a room deep in the underground?
When you take someone's emotions, you also take away parts of their memories and that is what happened to my friends. They do not know who I am. People still live together and families still exist but there are no feelings that connect them in a good way.
I have never been hugged  in this newly created world. My dad looks at me every day with the same darkness and empty eyes. He just says something, then he goes to work like me and all the other people on this earth. I work in the "Emotion Organization".
There are 3 departments in the organization: First, the department where all the files are kept about everyone, where you can find everything you have to know about specific people, second, the department where you work in the underground, and where all the glasses filled with emotions are sorted and then there is the third department in which I work. In this section you can see through the files and you observe people, so that you also recognize any deviation and any change, people in this department notice immediately if emotions and feelings that should not exist yet exist, then you find these people, they get arrested and you take away the last remnants of their emotions. This moment hurts the most. Because you Tage away what makes them human. I have tried to hide it, to make it clear to them that they are not allowed to show their emotions, their humanity, but that was usually the moment when emotions get the upper hand and I have no choice but take them away even if it hurts deep inside me, I have to take their emotions and this part of their memories, the part of their memories that told me who I am. It hurts but it can not be changed, my father must never know.
Sometimes I go into the room of emotions and memories and look at them, then I can see and feel them all, the joy and sadness, pain and despair. I see all this and I also see it when a person dies, because the moment a human crosses the line from the living to the dead, the moment the glass opens with the feelings and frees them the memory and the emotions of that person return to the human dying.
I have often wondered what it feels like to die and at the last moment just feel everything. All I feel is a part of my emotions that could not be taken away from me but they are already very strong, so day after day I wonder how strong it is to feel everything, when the emotions are completely restored, How does that feel like?