Midgardian princess

Chapter 13

You sit on the cold floor and overlook the night. Your black dress flows down the steps and you let the tears stream down your face undisturbed. The memories so painful keep playing themselves in your head in a continuous loop.

Loki has been acting differently in the last few days, but more so today. He is anxious and twitchy.

"What's wrong, my love?" you ask him as you walk down the hallway, "Is there anything I can do?"

He stops and looks at you with mixed feelings, but mostly you see sorrow and regret. Suddenly he turns around and opens the door behind him. It has a windowless room and he takes you inside and closes the door again.

"What is it?" you insist as you look around in the dark room that is filled with chest plates and other armor pieces.

Loki comes closer and places a hard and stiff kiss on your lips.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't risk you getting hurt," he says and quickly turns around and walks back out of the room and closes the door between you. You hear the lock mechanism turn and Loki's voice say to the guards:

"Don't let her out and keep her safe until my return."

You storm to the door as his footsteps fade. You try to open the door, but it's in vain. You ram it as hard as you can and scream to be let out. You shout your lovers name in panic and fear of what's to come.

You look at the broken bridge and then lay your head on your arms. Your right side of your body is freezing because on the cold floor, but you ignore it.

After a little while you hear running in the hall and shouts that you couldn't understand, there was chaos in the palace and you tried to ram the door again, but just as before - it didn't give in.

Shortly after, you heard terrible noises coming from the distance, but you couldn't understand what could possibly cause them. It all ended with a loud bang. After that everything went silent.

It took what felt like an hour or two before you started to hear sounds behind the door again. You heard Thor's voice and he commanded to know what the guards were keeping in the room.

The door opened and he found you sitting on the ground. He stormed to you.

"Are you all right, Lady Y/n?" he helped you up, "What did my brother do to you?"

You didn't know what to say to him, still confused and concerned about what had happened. You stand up and without saying anything walk out of the small room. The opposite wall of where you were standing had arches overlooking the whole kingdom, including the Rainbow Bridge, but now it didn't end with the Observatory anymore. There was nothing.

You stare at the bizarre sight and try to understand.

"Thor, what happened? Where is Loki?" you turn around.

"Come," he sighs with sadness.

"Thor..." you say in a warning manner, "Where is Loki?"

"My brother... is dead," he says and you feel your mouth fall open as you gasp for air.

You haven't been able to sleep for the past couple of days, not after Thor's return. Hiding in secluded corners of the palace you try to stay out of people's way or rather, you just don't want to see or hear them. You know that in front of the royal family, you included, they make sad faces and repeat the same line over and over again "I'm so sorry for your loss", but you know that behind closed doors they celebrate the death of the "tyrant". You have been left alone. Either they haven't stumbled upon you or they have been avoiding you, but you don't care, loneliness is all you crave and you don't care about the opinion of others, you mourn the loss of the love of your life.

You hear footsteps behind you after reliving your memories for the thousandth time, but you don't bother to raise up or even ask who it is. You just lay there as the steps come closer and the person sits down beside you.

"I'm so sorry," you hear Thor.

"Why are you sorry for me?" you ask without opening your eyes, "You lost your brother."

"I wish it didn't go like that, I wish we could have him back," he continues.

"He lied, he killed, he schemed," you continue, "Loki put everyone in danger, he wanted to kill an entire race and for what? To prove to everyone that he was your equal?"

"He was my equal, in some ways he was better that I could ever be."

You open your eyes and sit up to face the prince.

"You think I don't know that? You think I did believe he would be fit to be a king?" you say with a cold voice, "He would have been a wonderful king if only he didn't have to prove himself every step of the way. If only he didn't feel like he had to go that extra mile, if only he didn't feel your constant shadow. If he wouldn't have been lied to, if his heritage wouldn't have been kept a secret from him... he would have been a great king... or rather... he never actually wanted to be a king at all."

Thor looks away, you can see his sorrow a guilt.

"But I don't blame you. He was just your brother, you didn't lie to him," you place your hand gently on his arm, "I know how much you miss him."

His expression softens and he reaches out and takes you into his big embrace.

"Come, sister, I would feel much better if you were at the feast with us," he says as he lets go.

"No, Thor, even if they weren't celebrating the death of my love... I don't belong with them. I don't belong here at all," you say sadly, "Without Loki, I'm nobody, I have to go back to Midgard, I have to protect these people, but I'm stuck here for the rest of my life," you say as you look over to the broken Bifröst.

"It doesn't have to be this way, there is still hope," Thor tries to convince you.

"No," you sigh, "Without Loki, I'm lost, I want to follow him, but my healing factor won't let me die without the pendant Loki took with him... so I will have to wander these halls that will forever remain empty for me for the next couple thousand years until hopefully Death will unite us again."

"No, Y/n, don't say such horrid things."

"You should go back to the feast, I'm sure everyone already misses you," you say after a moment of complete silence as you turn you gaze to your hands.

Thor doesn't leave for a while so you just lay back down and continue your mourning. You look at the golden reflection on the floor until Thor leaves again, then you close your eyes and relive your last memories of Loki all over again.