Midgardian princess

Chapter 15

You stand behind the armored figure, you know he is aware of your presence, but so far neither of you have said a word. You are gathering the strength to form your sentence. You never thought you could see Loki again - not in this lifetime.

"Show me, show him to me," you finally say, but Heimdall doesn't move. You take a step forward and stand at the very edge of the broken Bifrost and you look at him.

"Show me!" you plead.

"I don't think you want to see," he says.

"I do, I have to and you are to only one who can show me. I beg you."

He finally turns his gaze to you and you feel his power course thru you as your eyes turn a bright golden color. Suddenly you aren't standing on the edge of the world anymore. You are in a damp cellar somewhere on Earth. Loki is holding your mother's pendant in his hand.

"I'll show them, I'll make them believe in gods and you will be their queen. I will kill every single one of them who opposes us," he talks to the necklace, "I will give you this realm and you will fulfill your oath as their keeper. I'll do it for you."

You are too struck by the sight of him to even realize what he is saying. You step closer and kneel down to see his face. Loki's face is pale as porcelain and his eyes are dark as the midnight sky. You reach out your hand hoping to touch the dark circles under his eyes, but you can't feel him.

"Loki..." you whisper, "What happened to you?"

"I love you," he says as he touches the pendant with his lips and the illusion disappears around you and you find yourself kneeling on the bridge and you gasp for air.

"No..."

Heimdall reaches out his arm to help you up, but you hide your face into your hands.

"No," you repeat, "My love..."

Heimdall doesn't say or do anything until you've gathered yourself and stand up on your own.

"Why didn't they send me? I could bring him home, I could break him loose from his delusions! He doesn't need Thor to drag him back here, he is sick! Why don't you see it?," you say, but you aren't talking to Heimdall, "He's there, in the realm I swore to protect and he thinks he's doing it for me? I would never let him do it, I would never let him harm them, but he needs me!"

You wrap your arms around your body trying to keep yourself from falling apart all over again.

***

You stand on the balcony of your room, you overlook the city and you see the bright glow announcing the return of Thor. Two guards are already waiting for the criminal he brought with him. You see them chaining Loki up and all you want to do is to run to him, but you are staying out of the way in the fear of making it worse, Odin has made his decision very clear and you know there is no more mercy in his soul for Loki.

As the men walk towards the castle you see Loki looking up and meeting your gaze. His iron cold expression softens as he sees you and you look back at him. As if he remembered something, he looks away and you see the same slightly smug expression again. You turn around and walk back into the castle.

You go to the golden hall and sit by the fire, remembering how happy you once were here. You know that right at this moment Odin passes on his sentence to Loki and he will be dragged off to the prison. You feel a gust of wind as the big doors of the room are opened and you see Frigga walking in. You see she has been crying, but there are no more tears. No guards follow her into the room and you are left alone with her. You know her pain is the closest to yours and as she sits next to you you take her hand.

"It's not fair," you say.

"No, my child, it is not," she strokes the back of your hand.

"I thought I would be happy, to have him back, I thought that everything is better than losing him, but this is so much worse."

"Would you like to see him?" Frigga asks and you look at her.

"Odin was very clear that neither of us is to see him ever again," you sadly say.

"Odin is filled with big words and awful threats, but there are things he cannot control and I promise I won't tell if you won't, it can be our secret," she says.

"Yes, I'd give anything to see him," you say filled with new hope.

Frigga stands up and pulls you with her. She steps closer to the flame in front of you and with a quick wave of her hand the fire gets smaller and instead there appears Loki's figure. You see his surprised look as he sees you.

"What are you doing? Is this Frigga's magic?" he finally says.

"Yes..." you can barely form words, "I had to see you. I can still hardly believe you are here. I thought you were dead, I mourned you..."

He doesn't say anything, but rather looks away.

"Why didn't you come to me?" you go closer, "What happened to you?"

He doesn't look as ragged as in the vision Heimdall gave you, but you can see that he is not himself as he still doesn't give you an answer.

You raise your hand as if to touch him and he does the same hovering his hand so close to yours, but not enough to break the illusion.

"I love you so much... I never thought I get to tell you that again," you whisper and feel a silent tear on your cheek.

"Why? Why would you feel anything but hatred?"

"When I say, I love you, it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are."

Loki looks as if you had just punched him in the face.

"I don't deserve you... you have done nothing to deserve me..." he says with sorrow and tries to close his hand around your reached out fingers, but his figure passes right through yours and the illusion disappears. You let your hand down as the flames rise higher again.

You let your head down and close your eyes, you feel beaten again and you aren't sure what there is left for you to do.