Heterosexual of the Year [l.s]

I. Homosexuality? [PART 1]

' HOMOSEXUALITY? '

[9th Floor Lounge in Cowell Enterprises, London, 11:03am, Brunch Break]

"IT'S HOPELESS. I'm officially in love with Tom Holland," Niall sighs. "Peter Parker? More like Peter Park-it in my ass, amirite lads." He quickly adds, "No homo, though."

Harry raises an eyebrow as he stifles a laugh. "Sorry to burst your bubble but that sounds pretty homo to me."

      Niall shakes his head in denial. "Nah, 'm safe from the gay as long as I say no homo. It's kinda the law," he reassures the brunet beside him.

      Luke laughs. "Nice. Remind me to say that the next time I have a dick in my mouth," he announces shamelessly.

Niall feigns disgust as he turns to Harry. "You got any brain bleach? I'd like that erased."

"You literally just told us you wanted to take Tom Holland in the behind," he replies, shaking his head in amusement.

Luke gives him a weird look. "Harry, love—you can say the word ass. You're not going to get eternally damned if you do," he reminds sympathetically as he reaches over the table of food to awkwardly pat his cheek. "Besides, does it even matter? You've already succumbed to the beast of the underworld with your, dare I say it," he gasps dramatically. "Homosexual tendencies."

Harry snorts. "Wow, where'd you get your theater degree from? I almost mistook you for one of Jehovah's Witnesses."

      "Thanks. I knew all those years in church would pay off someday."

      "Are you even allowed inside a church? You've violated like six French laws and probably half the Bible," Niall remarks wryly.

Harry giggles and a smile ghosts over Luke's lips as he sips his coffee. He finally loses it when he sees Niall drop half his sandwich—sauce and all—onto his lap, almost spraying the drink on him.

      "You're an idiot," Luke coughs as he sets the mug of coffee down. "An actual fucking idiot."

      The vacant seat next to him is suddenly pulled back with a screech and an all too familiar coworker sits in front of Harry. His usual tight grey suit fits nicely around his petite figure and his light brown hair is coiffed with gel. Harry unintentionally coughs when he catches himself staring.

"Good morning, miserable fellow proletariats," Louis greets in his thick accent before turning to look at the boy in front of him. His gaze lingers for a few seconds too long and Harry stays quiet as he fiddles with his rings.

The other two cheer at his arrival.

"Alright, mate?" Luke nods in his direction. Niall does the same as he wipes the barbecue sauce off his black trousers.

      "Yeah, you?" He pauses to squint at Niall, both in confusion and humor. "What's up with him? You cream your pants again, Neil?"

      Niall flips him off. "Sod off, you Rodney. I dropped my sandwich."

      Louis sticks his tongue out and diverts his attention back to the curly-haired lad, scanning him from top to bottom. "Your hair's a mess. Wild night, huh? I like my women feisty too." His voice has an underlying tightness before he grins cheekily and winks.

Niall snorts in the background and whispers something to the other blond, earning the same reaction. He finally finishes cleaning up the mess and throws the dirty napkins onto his empty plate.

      Harry flushes pink and shifts uncomfortably in his seat at the topic. "You haven't sat with m–us in a while," he mentions.

      "Yeah, well. I've been busy. D'ya miss me? Admit it, you missed me." He grins wider—this time more genuinely—and Harry sinks into his seat.

      "Uh, yeah sure," Harry quietly slurs over the words. His friends watch him with amusement—Luke bites his lip to contain his laughter and Niall is wide-eyed as he drinks his tea.

      "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you over the loud talking. Would you mind repeating it, but this time with more rigor and passion? I want to reenact the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet." Louis remains oblivious to his friends' snickering.

      "Ma—"

      Louis' phone begins ringing loudly in his pocket and he curses under his breath as he fishes it out. The grin on his face curls into a small frown when he sees the caller and his eyebrows furrow with an unreadable expression.

      "I've got to take this," he mutters and quickly stumbles out of his seat. His left hand is shoved into the pocket of his trousers and his right holds the phone to his ear. His voice hushes to a whisper as he walks out of the lounge. Harry can't make out what he's saying.

      Niall awkwardly coughs, breaking Harry's stare. "That could've gone worse," he blurts out. "At least he's in a good mood." Niall slides out of the seat and grabs his mug which obviously had I <3 Ireland plastered on it. "I'll be right back. Gotta refill my tea."

      Both of them wave in acknowledgement and Luke stares at Harry curiously from across the table as he crosses his arms. He finally speaks when Niall is four tables away. "He doesn't know you're gay?"

Harry rubs his arm sheepishly. "Knew you'd bring it up. And I didn't think it'd matter. It's just a preference, yeah?"

      Luke nods, agreeing. "Are you planning on telling him soon, or at all?"

Harry shrugs. His decision wavers when he thinks of how it could go directly to shit. "I'm definitely going to tell him, just dunno when. Maybe I'll bring it up if he's still in a good mood when I see him. He's easier to talk to when he is."

Luke nods again. "Sounds reasonable." He hesitates. "Listen, Haz, I'm not trying to pressure you into telling him, if that's how I came off as." He stops to think for a moment.

      "Just tell him as soon as you feel ready. It's better—for your sake, I think—if he finds out from you rather than somebody else." Luke pauses and half-smiles. "You look like you're about to shit yourself. He's not homophobic, don't worry. It'll be fine, alright? It won't change how Louis sees you. Swear it."

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: dunno if y'all like when fanfics mash 5sos and the boys together, but i sure as heck do! i'm glad i decided to rewrite this, i feel like it's a better representation of their characters.
i'm also excited for the next chapter (hint: it's louis-centric)
what do you guys think of the chapter? interesting? boring? i'm open to feedback and criticism !

A VINE THAT BUTTERS MY EGGROLLS (bc i live and breathe memes): haha ey it's ya boy uH skinny penis

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART !