star shopping by lil peep
if i stood in the middle of the road, who would come to pick me up? what if a car made a quick turn and didn't realise me? at that point, i wouldn't realise me either. thoughts cascading through my mind, moving to fast that i can't process each of them. my life could just slip through my fingers and that could happen in the next few seconds. i was lying in the middle of a road at midnight.
i'm vulnerable and weak. only listening to the music in my ears instead of the outside world. maybe i could save myself? maybe this could all be okay? if i stand and walk away, i wouldn't be dead. images flash to the trauma of last night. i don't want to live like that anymore. living though everybody hates you. i should just stay in the middle of the road.
no cars have come by yet and now i'm becoming impatient. slowly, my body changes its position and lays down. my fingers follow the stars and they all make random images. quietly, i chuckle to myself. all of the stars have a reason. everything that was here before us humans had a purpose. the grass were to feed the animals, the trees were to give us oxygen. but once i set foot on this earth, was i the odd one out: the one who didn't have a purpose.
the houses cuddling the road held secrets and housed the lives of many people. people who likely had larger problems than my own. do my problems even matter? was i just put on this earth to live and then die? is that why we're all here? it's like we're animals, breeded and then killed for the benefit of others. but animals should be able to live their life to the fullest. however, i don't think i deserve mins. i cause problems. even when i try to do something useful, i end up more messed up than before.
a loud noise interrupted my thoughts. i saw car lights heading towards me. should i get up or stay where i am. am i ready to leave this world? i had five seconds to decide. in those five seconds, my life changed into a
slow slide show of my memories.
this was the wrong decision. my body moved to get up, but i was too late...
