The Truth About Yuuri Katsuki

Zweiundzwanzig

Otabek was nearly finished with his rehab. His body was starting to work as it had in the past. Yuri had explained to him a bit about what had happened. He seemed reluctant to tell Otabek everything though. Otabek didn't care that much about it. He was fine with forgetting. Yuri had also explained that his grandpa had died. He was now abandoned with no where to live. Otabek had offered to have Yuri live with him. He wasn't really thinking about the situation thoroughly when he'd suggested this.

"Beka?" Yuri questioned as he walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel hanging loosely around his waist. "Do you have any spare clothes? Mine are all in the wash." Otabek nodded and gestured to his dresser. Yuri wandered over and started looking through the drawers. It was all going to be too big for him. He should just pick something at random. 

"Yuri," Otabek began, "I really need to tell you something." Otabek had been meaning to tell Yuri for a while now. He felt that Yuri should know since the two were living together.

"What?" Yuri asked. He threw his towel on the floor and put on one of Otabek's shirts. Otabek wasn't sure what to look at so he just continued looking at Yuri.

"I have a confession to make," Otabek didn't know how to say this. Yuri had trusted him so much as a friend. He didn't want to ruin that trust by telling him how he felt. There was no way around it. Otabek didn't want to be dishonest anymore. 

"I love you, Yuri," he said. There was no need to beat around the bush. He just had to go for it. 

Yuri stared at him with a blank expression for a minute or two. "What?" he laughed nervously. "You aren't being serious, right?" Yuri sat down on the floor. He couldn't remain standing for something like this. 

"I trusted you, Beka," tears began to form in his eyes. They were numerous and continued to form and fall off of his face and on the floor. "You weren't supposed to be like everyone else," he cried. "You are my friend," Yuri's voice cracked. He wasn't sure what was worse: his feeling of betrayal or the idea that he might lose Otabek now. 

"I know," Otabek smiled albeit sadly. "It's because I'm your friend that I didn't want to lie to you anymore," he stood up and went to the bathroom. It was his turn to take a shower. Yuri needed time to think. He shouldn't bother him. 

Yuri listened to the water as it ran. He wasn't sure what to do. Would he be able to continue living here if he knew Otabek was looking at him in that way? He had just shamelessly gotten naked in front of him too. What was he thinking? Yuri was losing his mind. He cared about Otabek too much to end their friendship. But, he had known too many people with weird feelings for him in the past. They were forceful and strange. He knew Otabek wasn't like them but he still felt wary. 

Otabek entered the room again. He had done the same thing Yuri had but Yuri suddenly felt embarrassed to look at him. Otabek had a better body than he did. He'd lost some weight because of his time in the hospital but he still looked good. 

"Yuri," Otabek squatted in front of Yuri. His towel was just barely covering what it needed to. His hair was wet and dripping water onto his body. Otabek ran his hand through his hair to keep it from getting into his eyes. "Can you move for a second? You're sitting in front of the drawer with my pants." Yuri nodded and scooted over. He watched as Otabek got dressed. Each time Otabek glanced at him, Yuri looked away but his eyes always came back to Otabek. 

"I'm not going to do anything to you," he sighed. "I'm not that type of guy."

"I know," Yuri paused for a moment, "I know, but I just...I don't know what to do now."

"You don't have to do anything but if it makes you feel better I can keep my distance for a while," Otabek suggested. He didn't want Yuri to be uncomfortable around him. Now that the two were living together he had to make sure Yuri felt as safe as possible. 

The thought of Otabek disappearing lurked in the back of Yuri's mind. He didn't want that. He wanted Otabek around. He wasn't sure what love was like but he knew Otabek was important to him. "It's fine," he said. "I'll be fine," he tried to reassure Otabek and himself. It wasn't working. He hadn't been this self-conscious around guys that had confessed to him in the past. He started hating them because he knew their feelings weren't genuine. Yuri knew that Otabek liked him for him. Maybe that is what made this whole thing so weird. 

"Yuri?" Otabek sat down on the floor with him. He grabbed his hands, held them in his own, and looked him in the eyes. "I'm not going to do anything to you. I promise."

"But," Yuri started to cry. He clung to Otabek's hands. "What if I want you to?" he asked. Otabek didn't know how to answer. "I don't know what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. I know you're not like the rest of them but I was still scared. I'm not used to this being a positive experience. I like you. I don't want you to leave me. Is that love? I don't know," Yuri continued to cry. "I just know that sometimes I want to hold your hand and hug you. Sometimes I fantasize about other things. I don't know how I'm feeling. I just know that I don't want you to leave me. You've been gone for so long and it was weird. I hated it." Yuri hated when Otabek wasn't there. He hated that Otabek was kidnapped by his own parent and was lost in a coma for so long. He just wanted Otabek around. 

Otabek pulled Yuri into a hug. "I've waited for you this long. I'm not going to leave you any time soon," he promised. 

"Is it okay? Like this? Wouldn't it be weird?" Yuri asked.

"No," Otabek assured, "it's not weird."

"What if you find someone you want to spend your life with and it isn't me? We aren't in a relationship so I can't stop you..."

"Yuri," Otabek couldn't help himself from laughing just a bit, "there is no one in this world that I would rather spend my life with than you." Yuri blushed. 

"Good," Yuri nuzzled his head into Otabek's chest. That was one less thing he had to worry about. 

It didn't matter to Otabek how long it took for Yuri to realize what his own emotions were. He would survive even if Yuri didn't return his feelings. But, for now, there was hope and he would cling to it.