Why Me?

Why Me? chapter 3

Today is September 4th 2019 and I am sitting in the front row of the church. I am wearing a black v-neck empire knee length dress, and a black sinamay straw derby hat. I decided to go the day with no make-up, since I knew I would be crying a lot anyways. my left hand was clenching a drenched tissue and my right hand was holding on to Austin’s hand.

            My father was buried in St. Jude cemetery in Junction City, Kansas. We used to live there before we moved to Tennessee where my father died.

            Days and weeks have passed and I have been moaning around, not doing anything. I walk into the kitchen and I pass by the table where I see two open books. One is called “perfect themes for your perfect days” and another is called “1000 names for your child.” I just walk right by.

            When I get into the kitchen I look through the cabinets to try and find something quick and easy to cook for dinner so that it can be ready for Austin when he gets home from School. Then the door bell rings. I look at the clock and its only 5:27, who would be here?

            I open the door to see Ryder Jon. I run up and give him a hug. He was the one and only person who could make me feel better.

            “Well that was a wonderful welcoming!” he said hugging me back, he has always gave out the best hugs, they were so comforting and made you feel at home.

            Pulling out of the hug I mentioned, “ Well that was a wonderful surprise, showing up like this! Unannounced and all”

             He looked guilty “sorry I didn’t know if you would have wanted me to come, I figured you’d never want to see me again after what all I put you through, you know being a douche-bag and all.”

            “well Ryder, yeah you pissed me off when you up and moved to Georgia, but that wasn’t my choice it was yours so whatever. When you told me that you were leaving, all that I could think about was that I would never see my big brother again. And after two years of you living there this is the first time Iv talked to you. But I would have loved for you to come down whenever. It’s a chance that I would be able to see you."

                  He just stood there.

                        “Just come inside” I told him, I didn’t want to be sitting outside when Austin came home.

            “Fine but id really like to talk about something else other than how I screwed up.” he said as he sat on the couch.

            “Okay, like what.” I said standing in front of him.

            “Well to start with, you have grown up a lot” then he just like paused…

            “Thanks” the words slowly came out of my mouth

            “Ramie?”

            “Yes?”

            “What is on your finger?” CRAP!!!

What was I supposed to do, my big brother Ryder Jon was sitting in my house, but yet I was hiding secrets. Should I start a new conversation, should I tell the truth or should I tell him it was something that I had bought for my self?

            Here goes nothing “Ryder, im engaged.”

            I knew it; it was not smart to say that. He jumped to his feet.

            “Who is he, what is wrong with him, why does he want to marry you, do I need to beat the crap out of him?”

            I was speechless I just stood there

            “Its Austin, does something need to be wrong with someone to love someone like her, I want to marry her because I love her and she loves me, and face it you can try and beat the crap out of me, but looks like someone hasn’t been to the gym in a few years so, bring it.” Shivers ran down my back just hearing his deep voice ring in my ears.

            “Uhm, Austin, Ryder…Ryder, Austin” eye contact between the two looked deadly….