f e e l i n g s (Tord x Reader)

sick feelings

Hey ya'll, I just wanted to point out that this chapter is pretty graphic with violence.

If you know you don't do well with that kind of stuff, just scroll to the bottom of this chapter where I'll have a summary of what happened.

Your mother was gone.

And as soon as you noticed, dread slithered it's way up your throat as you shouted for her. You threw open doors and ran outside screaming for your mother to come back. However, she never did come back, and you didn't know where she went.

"Mom! Moooom!" your voice began to crack under stress. She could be in danger, zombies seemed to lurk in every corner. That of which some appeared around corners, attracted to the loud racket you were making. One, who seemed to look like your next door neighbor, Kathy, let out a howl, notifying her corpse friends that precious prey was wide open.

With tears starting to swell, you turned back with a few stray zombies limping in slow pursuit. You locked your front door and leaned against it, wishing your mother was there with you. Your mom had been an average mother, although you hardly ever talked for more than five minutes at a time. You never really knew what happened to her outside the house when she went to work at the floral shop, and she never knew what happened to you at school. In this way, you never fully knew your mother. For over a decade you had lived with her, and never once asked how her day at work went, never once asked about her life before having you and getting married. A tug started to pull at your throat, realizing that you might just cry. Slumping down into a ball, tucking your knees to your chest, you silently cried.

There was no point in staying here, not when there was nobody to stay with. However, the thought of leaving brought anxiety.

What if she came back and you were gone?

Would she she know where to find you?

Is she stuck somewhere outside? If so, you can't stay home, you would have to come look for her.

What if you found her but she was dead?

Your questions and worries swarmed your mind. They engulfed every other thought until the only thing you saw was your mother's face staring back at you; eyes cold and unrecognizable breath. You had left her when she was in her worst state. You left her when she needed you most and didn't even say a word.

Was it your fault she was gone?

Tears tumbled down your cheeks and you began to sob. Covering your face- although, no one was there to watch- you tried your best to wipe away the tears and take back control over your emotions. But the taste of salt water on your lips could not be stopped by your fingers, so you resumed to standing up.

Through you blurred and teary vision, the thought of your mother and father sitting together on your sofa watching the TV caused you great sorrow. So much in which you could no longer stand being in the house alone. Wiping the tears from you face, you got up with a heaviness on your legs. You stumbled to your room and pulled out a large suitcase from your closet. You shoved a few shirts, pants, sock, and underwear into the container along with a large jacket and pair of hiking boots. You stuffed them in quickly, about to zip up the bag when you realized you could fit in so much more.

In fact, you took a book, a journal, pencils, a beanie, gloves, a scarf, and toiletries. You shook out the can of food from your backpack, but left the rope, butcher knife, pocket knife, and flashlight inside. Noodle soup and bean cans rolled across your carpet, food would also be necessary. You suppossed that another bag of edibles would be alright. Grabbing your stuff, along with the cans, you shuffled to the small kitchen. The front door was right in between the living room and kitchen, so you left your backpack and suitcase beside the door while you opened the cabinet and grabbed anything in a box or can. Crackers, chips, pasta, macorni, and instant potatoes all lay in a pile of the tiled floor without anything to hold them in. You would need another bag. You looked around for something, and noticed a duffle bag beside the couch.