Patchwork Poetry

It'll all be Revealed in the Autopsy

There are too many words, and not enough room.
But too few words to, my thoughts, exume
Buried deep within so many layers of stone,
Fossilized hatred and petrified hope.

I don't know which ones are my bones.
I can't recall which ones I've exposed.
There are too many spoken, but too many unsaid.
I don't remember every lie that stood in my stead .
While I fell,
diving deep inside my mind,
I tried so hard to hide
from the the parts of me that
want to take me over.
To make me feel better.

I tie myself down so tight,
I grip the rope around me.
And swells around me
it cuts of circulation,
Suffocating, overwhelming,
until pressure is expelled.
And then they've won me
But I'm painless.

I mourn a person I created.
I mourn the loss of myself.
I lay to rest my internalized hatred
and put the thoughts
in a box on the shelf

I let myself feel the pain that needs to be felt.
I let myself cry.
I cry and I scream
Out the words that they stifled!
the things they denied me!

I scream out the truth, despite forged alibies.
No matter how near,
No matter how far behind.

I will shout into the emptiness!
The truth behind the thick smoke screen.
Until my lungs collapse, I will scream.

The shards are sharp.
The shape will inevitably change
When I glue myself together
Letting free the things I've made
in the wake of their destruction
I've tried to hide myself under my own skin
I killed who I was
and buried it in morphine coted sin

Not so long ago,
but now much longer than it used to be.
Distant calls above the ground
The family that disowned me.
I know my memory was soiled,
My face blacked out, attemps all foiled
I won't succumb to your sweet words.
I won't be bribed.
Your anesthetic lies,
And the truth that burns.

My bones decay
Athousand miles away from here,
Competing with my own remains, an impostor
While I'm left unclaimed.

I won't let my past control me.
I accept the lies you fed me.
I will wait another century.
This remains my vow.
I will one day be revived.
The truth one day will bloom.
One day my voice will be exumed.