"What?" He asks, completely shocked by this. His heart drops and his stomach twists in nervousness.
"Oh come on, Jimin. It's obvious, you must think I'm stupid," she sighs, looking at Jimin like she didn't just expose the one thing Jimin thought she didn't know about.
"But—"
"It's Yoongi isn't it?" She asks.
"Mom, I am so sorry, I just..." Jimin's gaze drops as his eyes well up with tears.
His mother grabs his wrist. "Jimin, listen to me," she says seriously. Jimin looks up at her with hooded eyes, he's flushed with embarrassment and he just wants to cry because this is one of the worst things she could've found out about.
He lets tears fall and she sighs, wiping his cheeks with her thumb. "Honey, don't cry," she says.
"Please don't be disappointed in me," He croaks.
"Jimin, I'm not. I'm just upset that you didn't let me know," she says, caressing his hair soothingly. Jimin clutches onto her. "I know I wasn't the most approachable person, but I'm trying to change for you, I just want you to be honest with me."
"Besides, I found you in bed with our neighbour, I'm pretty sure he's your boyfriend, am I wrong?" She asks as Jimin whines out.
"You're always blushing when you talk about him, and you've been way too happy lately," she says, pinching his cheek. Jimin bites his lip. "Which I'm glad because at least I know this boy is making you happy," she coos at him teasingly.
"So... you don't mind?" Jimin asks.
"I've met Yoongi, I know he's a nice boy, just..." she stares at Jimin, eyeing him curiously.
"You'd tell me if you're sexually active, right?" She asks and Jimin's eyes widen, his hand covering his mouth in surprise.
"Oh my god, mom."
"I want to know! I need to know you're being saf—"
Jimin covers his ears, shaking his head. He really doesn't want to talk about his sex life, which is not existent but borderline, with his boyfriend to his mother. That's the last thing he'd ever want to say.
"Yes, I'd tell you," Jimin sighs and his mother laughs.
"Good, which I hope you're waiting for, abstinence is key," she says, pointing at her head as if showing that she's an intellectual. Jimin rolls his eyes, his shoulders relaxing.
"It's just... this boy is nineteen right?" She asks. Jimin nods, biting his lip. "He's not taking advantage of you or anything? Forcing you to do anything you don't want to do?" She asks, looking concerned, her eyebrows knitted together.
"No, he treats me really well," Jimin says because in all honesty it's the exact opposite. Jimin's the one who wants to do things with Yoongi who's always insisting they wait.
—
"So... when did you get suspicious?" Jimin asks.
"I mean Yoongi told me that the world has bigger problems than two boys kissing, and then he panicked and ran away. I found that pretty suspicious but I also thought about what he said a lot and it made me open my eyes more."
Jimin's heart warms, he feels like he's going to melt because hearing that Yoongi said that, along with his mother opening up because of that made him feel all happy inside.
"What else... oh! You sneaking him into the house when you think I'm asleep," she says, giving him a pointed look. Jimin looks away guiltily.
Jimin laughs nervously as his mother lets out a soft laugh. Jimin feels like everything is just coming together in his life.
Except even when things seem to be all uphill, just like a roller coaster there's a big fall. You know when you reach the top though everything slowly builds up to tipping over the edge, when you're at the highest, you can suddenly drop to the lowest just like that. —
It's late in the night when Jimin gets a call from his boyfriend. It's around one in the morning and Jimin pulls himself out of bed, putting on his slippers and wrapping himself up in his road. He licks his lips as he opens his bedroom door and walks to the front. When he opens the front door, Yoongi is sitting on the porch, head between his knees, he's hunched over, a bottle of soju hanging loosely in his hand and Jimin's heart drops.
"Hyung," Jimin squeaks as he walks down the steps, moving to kneel in front of the clearly drunk boy.
Yoongi's eyes open slightly, squinting to see the younger who's looking at him with hurt in his eyes. "You said you wouldn't drink so much," Jimin croaks out as he tries reaching for the bottle but Yoongi slaps his hand away harshly.
"I'm old enough to do what ever the fuck I want," Yoongi slurs and Jimin stands up, backing away.
"Hyung please don't be like this, I don't like seeing you like this, please just come," Jimin says, trying to pull Yoongi up.
"Stop it you brat!" Yoongi shouts and Jimin flinches. Whenever Yoongi has called him that before it was always playful and teasingly but this... this is full of malice and anger and Jimin just wants to break down and cry.
"You know, it's my fault for getting involved with some kid," Yoongi laughs dryly.
Jimin looks up, biting his lip so it wouldn't quiver "I am just some kid to you then" Jimin says, trying to blink away his tears but they start falling from his eyes, spilling like an overflowing fountain.
"It's not my fault that you're being a drunk asshole," Jimin cries out. He's shaking, he doesn't want to go through this, not again.
Yoongi stares at Jimin coldly.
"Of course a kid doesn't understand shit."
Jimin lets out a frustrated growl. He's not letting Yoongi go so easily just because he decides to get shit faced drunk one night. "You realize you're only three fucking years older than me, barely, right? I'll be seventeen in a few months." Jimin says, pushing at Yoongi's chest.
Yoongi stands there, his dark eyes staring at Jimin intensely. Jimin heaves out a long sigh, "please, give me that bottle, Hyung," he says, almost defeated. "I love you a lot, I don't want this to ruin your life, if you keep drinking like this," Jimin tells him.
Yoongi hesitantly looks at the bottle, reaching his arm out, bottle in his hand as he grudgingly hands Jimin it. Jimin closes his eyes, hoping Yoongi doesn't see his tear stained cheeks under the moonlight.
"Call me when you're sober, I really can't be around you when you're like this. I can't have this," Jimin says, holding up the mostly drunken bottle, "ruin another relationship with someone I care so much about."
With that, Jimin pushes past Yoongi. "Go home and drink some water at least," Jimin tells him before he walks into his house, locking the door. He leans against it, defeated because he hates the thought of Yoongi being like this. He slides down the door, pulling his knees to his chest, hiding his head in his hands.
All he can think is, why? —
I can't stop
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