Alexander (Discontinued)

-2-

2010

Pleasant morning are what I have always desired but today wasn't one of the best morning I've had, with a killer headache and all the flashbacks from what happened yesterday night.

I had no idea how I ended up in my bed yesterday night. When my mother came to wake up today, she notified me of dad's departure. For her it was just another meeting that he had to attend in Italy, another week away from home. But this time the only difference was that I knew the truth about his job and I doubted that he would ever come back after what happened yesterday. The thought of it made me shiver and an unnoticed sob escaped my lips.

I didn't have the guts to enlighten her about the truth. Especially when she was finally happy and relaxed after she had a night out with her friends after like a decade.

My only hope to a peaceful future was the return of dad but my sixth sense told me that it would never happen. I was just hoping that dad would show up again so that I could pretend that yesterday night never happened and we could pretend that yesterday night never happened, that it was nothing but a nightmare.

But even if dad returns our little family won't ever be normal again, especially with me knowing that dad was a part of an Italian mafia. It would be like a stab in a heart for both of us to keep it from mother even if it would be best for her. But that was only if dad returned. The longest that dad had stayed away from home had only been two weeks, and if it took longer than that for him to come back, mom would know something was wrong. Especially with no phone calls or messages. And I dreaded the day when she actually realized that something was wrong.

Snuggling into my blanket, I looked out the window over the street of England. Everything looked peaceful with the children playing and cycling around, birds chirping and adults out on a walk or a run. This signified the bright mornings of Sundays of England. Every child of this town was nearly celebrating this bright Sunday morning with their families. But here I was desolating over a lost family member.

I didn't realize I was crying until I brushed some strands of hair away from my face that were clinging to my wet face, I was gutted. The empty feeling was worse than I anticipated it would be, it all felt like it was my mistake. It was like a burden over my shoulders. I had witnessed it but I couldn't do anything, I was too scared, too much of a coward to do anything for my father.

I had never been in this state before, never thought that I would be. I needed to talk to someone about it, but no one could be trusted. I didn't want to cause any more trouble to my helpless father.

Mom was in the kitchen when I went downstairs, making the usual English breakfast that I absolutely loved- Orange juice, with bacon and sausages.

She got married to my dad when she was only 16, they got married in Turkey, where 16 is the legal age. So she still looked young, and even younger with the teen night dress and her messy buns. I would always criticize her for dressing like a teenager but she would just glare at me and tell me that she does whatever my dad wanted.

My smile dropped when I realized how much they love each other, mom couldn't live more than a month without dad, I knew it. Tears formed in my eyes, but I blinked them away as soon as she turned around. Her smile dropped too, when she took in my state, I tried to wash away any signs of me crying and I was successful enough in hiding the dark spots from under my eyes.

"Missing your dad already?" she said, trying to test my mood. She was tense I could tell.

"Probably" I said smiling, but failed miserable at keeping my voice even.

"Something's wrong Eve, I can tell" She said, cleaning her hands with the kitchen towel before striding over to me.

I was getting tense, my body tightened as she touched my shoulder and then I broke out.

"Oh Eve" She muttered before wrapping her arms around my stiff body. I sobbed hysterically as I pressed my head into her chest, shaking uncontrollably.

She rubbed my back gently, before letting go of me and leading me to the dining table. I stumbled on my steps, but she managed to keep me upright.

"Let go of what's disturbing you sweetheart, crying helps", Mother said gently, now sitting across from me on the dining table.

I just nodded my head and gulped down the orange juice that she had sat on the table for me.

"You can always tell me what's wrong", she quipped.

I gave her another and she smiled at me before grabbing the tissue box and setting it in front of me.

"I had a fight with dad before he left. I didn't want him to leave without me saying sorry. But he didn't wake me up before he left. He didn't say goodbye. He just left" I lied. What I said was partially true. Dad left without me saying goodbye, he left without me saying sorry for being so useless.

Mother sighed, before returning to her place and lifted my face by my chin.

"He must be in hurry Eve, and I am sure he didn't wake you up because he wouldn't have want to disturb you. Parents can never be angry at their children to the point of hating them. He love you, little one. And yesterday he was telling me that he dreaded the day you are going to turn 18, because then you would leave us for university" She said, sadly.

I nodded my head and smiled wiping my tears away and blowing my nose with the tissue.

"So tell me now" She quipped, clapping her hand together, "what can we do to make this a perfect Sunday for us girls. You can invite Olivia, and we can have a perfect girl's night in"

"Sounds perfect" I fake smiled. And tried to be happy for her. 

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