Alexander (Discontinued)

-7-

The entire chaos had led me to the hospital waiting area, as I prayed to God for the health of my mother. I had lost my father only a few hours ago and I couldn't bear losing my mother with him too.

Alexander was somewhere in the hospital, I had no idea where, and to my closest guess he had probably left by now.

He was the one who brought my mother to the hospital, the moment I screamed for his help he tied up Todd and came running to where I was. He locked the doors properly before heading out with me to the hospital, my mother in his arms. He was the who drove us to the hospital and the silence in the car was killing me most of the time I spent crying and continuously glanced at my mother, who's lifeless body now lay on the backseat of his car.

He was quiet, his face filled with dismay and fury. He looked dreadful. Gone was his sassy side, his enthralling smirks and noxious laughs. And I wanted to ask why. But judging by the look on my face, he answered me quietly that he had lost his closest companion.

Dad just came back after four years, and he hadn't expected that this would actually happen. He had expected a bittersweet family reunion. Bitter it was, as to sweet, I had already lost my faith in it.

There could have been so many possibilities, mothers help would have improved with the reappearance of dad, we could have been a happy family again, I might have started my education again, so many possibilities just taken down with a single bullet, the bullet that not only engrossed my father's heart but it as well as engrossed my heart and mother's and as far as I knew alexander's too.

I wanted to take out the same bullet out of my father's corpse, heat it to the point that it could burn and draw shapes with that burning bullet on Todd's entire body, press it in to his eyes until he screamed and begged for mercy, until the entire neighborhood tried to look through the window as t see what was happening in this house. So the same bullet could engross not only his heart but his entire body and his entire life.

I was lethal at this moment, and my body was urging me to stand up and hit someone, to kill someone-brutally. My life had been wrecked, I was nothing but a devastated mess, and I was useless, worth-less, piece of shit. I wanted to scream to the point that my lungs could burn and burst to my demise.

And when there were hands all around me, my mouth, my legs, my arms, keeping my body in place, I realized that I actually was screaming and I was not only screaming I was crying, thrashing around, hitting myself continuously. There were muffled voices around me, everywhere, as I was held captive in those hands.

And then I was being dragged away, to God knows where, maybe it was the death angel that was taking me away, maybe God had finally listened to my prayer.

______

When I opened my eyes, my vision was black, I saw nothing but darkness. I had heard that heaven was all white and full of light but this was completely opposite of it. Maybe I was in hell, the eradicating headache explained it. Shit.

That's when I heard the beep.

Beep...beep...beep...beep

I recognized it as the heat monitor and my vision sharpened, things became clearer. I recognized the hospital white ceiling and turning my head I looked at the heart monitor that was beeping in a slow rhythm.

The lights of the room were off, and the window shade was opened, so that I could oversee the street lights and cars whispering by. The hospital room, literally looked like a five-star hotel room, I would have never dreamed of paying for it, the rooms rent alone would cost me more than our three month household expenses.

"This is the deluxe room", my thoughts were answered by the one and only - Alexander.

"You didn't have to do this for me, I was more than happy with the other one" I murmured, turning sideways to face the window, pain erupted from my body, especially my face that was wholly bruised.

He chuckled before replying, "I never did this for you, fiore. The economy room's sofa was too hard for me to spend my night on"

I rolled my eyes at him and closed my eyes, letting go of the irritation until he spoke again.

"By the way, next time you decide to scream like a psycho in public, please let me know beforehand so I can be there for you rather than the rest of the hospital crowd. You weren't looking quite..." He paused as if he was searching for a suitable word, "decent"

I ignored him this time, keeping my eyes closed as I focused on perusing the solitude. I had no idea where I would go now. I was legal to have my own place but it wasn't about the legality issues, it was about whether I could bear to live alone in the same house that slew me. And it would be too dangerous to live in the place, which was known by two different mafias. Any of them could take me away and use me as a bait.

Gone was Olivia, my childhood friend, gone was my birth place, gone was everything I loved, gone was my heart, my life, my soul.

I let myself indulge deeper into the darkness and it was a bliss. To stay there, my eyes closed, nothing to worry about, nothing around to think about, no one to love, no one to care for, no one to worry about, it was me and nothing and it was ecstasy.

I wanted to stay like this forever, I never wanted to open my eyes again, never wanted to face the misery again. I was out of the livid despair for a blissful moment and this was all that I wished for now, I had never wanted anything more than this.

And in that moment I lost myself, I let myself go; gone was the hyper, bright, manic Evelyn- with her heart and soul, leaving behind nothing but corpse of despair.

And then it came again, the quivering, pain, frustration, agitation, despair; but this time it was different, this time it came with blissful darkness, keeping me sane.

But before I went livid, a pair of hands rubbed my back, soothing me down. The frustration diminished to a point that I was able to open up my eyes again.

Against my dreams, I finally had to open my eyes to face the anguish. But in that moment, I realized that pain and distress was inevitable. it will be there with you, everywhere you go.

Please share your thoughts below. All the love. K