To Not Feeling IT

3. THE ONE WHO WANTS TO GO AWAY

Ms. Hino sits right next to Ryo, who sits infront of me. Now it suddenly feels like I'm in the middle of an interrogation—as if I'm interrogating them. Eventhough I didn't say anything before she starts asking, "So... are you guys...?"

"Dating?" I cut her question, chuckling. "No. We're just ..." I pause. "just..."

Fuck, what should I address Ryo this time?

"We live together." Ryo suprises everyone with his answer. I step on his foot with all my might. "Ow!"

"Yeah, we're living together. We're cousins." I correct him and smile. Why didn't I say this earlier to stop that bastard from saying anything to Ms. Hino—my closest friend and lecturer who could even think that I'm pregnant with my boyfriend's baby just by seeing my pale face?

Mrs. Hino laughs. "I knew you guys are cousins."

I shake. "You knew?"

Ryo staring at me purposingly. Oh, now I understand.

"Yeah. Hamada told me earlier... that her aunt married a foreigner and they lived here in Japan," she suddenly sounds sorry. "By the way... I'm so sorry about what happened to your parents..."

Ryo gives me that stare again and I nod lightly. "It's okay. It happened when we're still kids anyway."

"I didn't know you guys live together." She says. "But... not that it's not a good thing..."

I shrug. I think we can tell the truth from here. "We only have each other. We don't have any family left on both our sides. Ryo's uncle ... our uncle in Aomori died a few years ago. He was the last one."

"Oh ... I'm sorry."

Before the atmosphere gets too awkward, I think I should start a new topic. "So how did you guys know each other?"

"Oh, I'm Ryo's customer since the first day he openned the restaurant. Which means... that we knew each other since years ago." She looks onto Ryo and they both smile to each other. It's still weird to see Ryo smiles like that. He suddenly looks like a nice person. "I never saw you before at the restaurant so I don't know you guys are related. Ryo did tell me that he lives with his cousin—I never thought it was you."

"It's a small world after all." I smile awkwardly. There's something I've been questioning about in my mind, but I'm not sure if I should find the answer from her. I think I'll just ask Ryo later when we're home.

"So ... Marie," he says suddenly, stopping my thoughts. "I'm dating Madoka right now. I just thought you should know."

Yep, there he is, answering my unspoken question and make me freeze for some reasons.

Madoka... so she's the girl he mentioned in his sleep. So this girl is really exist, moreover she's someone close to me.

Hino Madoka.

"Ryo! She could've got the wrong idea!" Ms. Hino murmurs. Now she calls him by his first name. Which means they're that close. "I'm sorry, I don't know why he just told you that out of the blue."

"It's not out of the blue. She has the right to know because I'll bring you home once or twice. Or maybe more than that in the future."

I can see Ms. Hino's face turns red. I can see the corner of her lip lifts up as she smiles. I can see that she's happy when Ryo deliberately hold her hand infront of me.

But I can't see why I'm not comfortable with what I see.

"Who am I? Your Mom?" I say to Ryo finally. "You can bring anyone home. And besides, Ms. Hino isn't just somebody. She's my good friend. It's great that you date her eventhough I was quite surprised."