Her Lycan✔

Chapter 20

**Listen to the song while reading**

Isabella Carson

All these years, it felt like I was falling from a high altitude. The fear and pain stirring up alive inside of me like a monster under the bed waiting to engulf me alive with no forgiveness. However, the pain never came. The monster never got me and I was alive. Warmth wrapped around me like a warm fuzzy blanket.

When I woke up sometime in the early morning hours long before most people had risen, I felt his arms still wrapped around me. His breath slowly caressing my neck as his face was snuggled into my neck and his body protected my body.

He was my warm blanket.

Usually, he was up before me but today he held me in his arms. I felt renewed. The heavy weight on my shoulder seemed to have lifted and although the monster still lingered in the dark shade in my closet, I knew it won't catch me in this moment.

Because I had him...

I grabbed onto his hand and wrapped in my tiny little ones. Bringing it up I kissed the back of his hand before rubbing it against my cheek. His breathing quickened and I knew he was slowly stirring awake.

"Bella, what are you doing?" He said in a low, raspy sleeping voice.

I turned around to see him rubbing his eyes and a hand through his messy bed hair. My eyes took its time roaming his gorgeous proportioned facial feature and down his masculine neck to his hard-naked chest.

"I need to go use the bathroom." I lied smoothly.

He shifted in bed to lay on his back, releasing his hold on me. I slipped out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. Closing the door, I exhaled slowly and walked over to the bathroom mirror. I looked like a total mess. All the crying and stress yesterday was evident still on my face. I exhaled again and turned on the water. I washed my face with cool water before turning it off and relieved my bladder before hopping into the shower.

As relieved as I am feeling right now, I still felt like something was off like I was missing something. I don't know what it was but I couldn't seem to stop the emotion from eating me up inside.

I should be happy that Malcolm accepts me for who I am. I should be glad that he now knows the truth but I wasn't. Him knowing the truth, makes me feel disgusted with myself. The past that used to be far away from me was nearly hindering in the back of my mind and clinging to me like a shadow.

Awful memories to which I have locked away were unleashed and I can feel my demons eating away at my skin.

After washing my hair and now washing my body with Malcolm's body soap, my fingers slid across Malcolm's mark unconsciously and the small little bumps but healed skin where his canines have pierced calmed the burning disgust inside of me.

Malcolm wasn't disgusted with me.

He held me to sleep.

He wasn't mad at me when I had marked him.

This must mean something. Falling to the ground of the shower, I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. The water washing away my self-hatred and disgust. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing.

I can't let my father control me even when he was not here. I am the keeper of my fate. I am not a little girl anymore.

I didn't realize how long I was sat in the shower until I felt Malcolm's arms wrapped around me. My skin was ice cold. It was then I realized that the warm heated water had turned cold a long time ago. Malcolm had turned off the water and was not scooping me up with a towel wrapped around me.