It was a one night stand, a one night thing. You only saw him once, until two years later. He's back, and his world is complicated, he's full of secrets and a terrible past. You are his addiction, his drug, and once he's had you, he can't go without...
I don't wanna be alone tonight It's pretty clear that I'm not over you I'm still thinking 'bout the things you do So I don't want to be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight
Austin, 1 month after the one night stand
Book nineteen is my personal favorite for many reasons, it was the first one to my collection that wasn't my father's and it had a perfect balance of my own sinful things, one that I didn't know was an addiction till a month ago. It's been 1 month since I arrived back to my mothers and her funeral is tomorrow. She overdosed on drugs two days ago.
I haven't been back in this house since I left when I was sixteen. It went downhill after I left, the walls are busted in some places and the furniture is full of cob webs and nothing's been moved since I left. My father passed away a little over a year ago and it's pathetic that it sent her into a mess like this. He cheated on her multiple times and same with her, she just wouldn't leave because of his power and if she did, I wouldn't went with her, she didn't want me.
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My bedroom was the last bedroom on the left hall. It still has the navy blue walls with a twin bed pushed against the corner. The only thing I loved about my room was the window so that I could sneak out every night. It became a tradition to do it every night since I didn't want to be in this house and hear them argue and sometimes, my shitty ass father would bring his side piece home and have sex just so my mother can hear it.
It brings me back to Cassette tape #3- Second Year. I had just unpacked three weeks ago, them and all of my sketchbooks at the apartment me and Joey are renting a couple minutes away from here because this house is going up for sale. I'll be able to collect my mother insurance money and just keep it in the bank since I don't want anything to do with it. I was the only name in her written will, a total shocker.
I came back to start the college near here for a bunch of different reasons, I thought for one me and my mother might get close since she told me over the phone multiple times that she was getting better and then when I came she was lying the whole damn time.
I straighten up my black tie in the bathroom mirror, it would be sorry of me not to attend my mother's funeral even though she was never really a mother but it was something I decided would be best for me for closure, I needed that and wanted that. This was my bathroom growing up, I would hide weed in the ceiling above me and would smoke it whenever my father was yelling at my mother.
My father had loads of money and made himself look like the best father ever but it was all show like many other things were, many people were around of my father, I wouldn't blame him. I'm glad I don't have to put up with him anymore. He was a dirty man in business and at home. I don't get how some people can sleep at night knowing what all they had done.
Monsters wear costumes too.
I bet Katie doesn't have to go home to a mess that I have. I bet her life is all butterflies and happiness. That's we don't clash but it doesn't stop me from thinking about her, I don't think nothing can.
Every darkness needs light.
The funeral home was cold and taunting and nearly empty. My mother didn't have many friends, and all that was here manly was family and I wouldn't even call them that. They are all bunch of assholes.
"Gum?" Joey questions before reaching out extra mint gum in his fingers. He was a shaking mess, he was more worked up than me. He hates funeral homes and church houses, they freak him out.
"Can you calm down?" I look at him before he tosses another piece of gum into his mouth, looking around anxiously. I felt bad for him there for a minute.
"Man, you know how bad places like this freaks me out. I don't like them, I feel like Jesus is watching me and I want to burst out laughing and it's a fucking funeral home." He blows warm air into his hands before rubbing them together.
"Why don't you go wait outside then?" I question him before he nods, leaving me alone in the back seat. My jaw clenches when I see my dad's ex best-friend Richard walk down to the end, to my mother's casket, oblivious that I was here.
He's just as fucking dirty as my father and he could give two shits about my mother. I haven't seen him in over seven years but he looks the same, just a few more grey hairs. I slip away from the seat, leaving. I didn't want him to see me, business with him is never good and I think I know why he's here.
I walk out to see Joey smoking in my car, which is a 1988 fire-bird and she's my baby and he knows the fucking rules about smoking in my damn car.
He sees me approaching angrily and I grab the door handle but it wouldn't open.
"Unlock the fucking car you asshole!" He giggles before blowing smoke to my window and I flip him off before beating on the window even more.
"I swear to fucking god if you don't open this car, I'll fucking put you in a grave." He rolls his eyes before unlocking my side. I get in and grab the cigarette before throwing it out the window.
"I saw fucking Richard, looks like he's back in town for business." He looks at me with wide eyes.
"He didn't see you did he?" I shake my head no.
"We need to get out of here though." I started my car before slamming the gas and leaving until I can no longer see the funeral home in my rear view mirror. I don't really like them either.
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