During the week until my next class with Jordan, after a few days it becomes easier to push him to back of my mind, but not completely out of it. Sometimes I catch myself wondering what he's doing right now, or if he's looking forward to class next week.
I keep myself distracted as a way to stick to my guns about waiting on a relationship, with work and my daughter. She's been learning so much recently. It makes me sad that I have to miss so much time with her, but I'm doing it FOR her. That's what I always remind myself on days when I want to walk out and quit my job. Everything I do is for the benefit of my daughter and our life together. One day, all my hard work will pay off.
Ding.
I hear the ping and vibrate of my phone alerting me to a FaceSlam message. I hold my daughter on one side, and reach for my phone with the other. Taken back I read the name again to make sure I'm seeing it right. Jordan messaged me! Wait, why am I so excited about this?
His messages reads, "Look, I know I was supposed to be waiting on a message from you, but I think if I do that I may be waiting forever. I would really like to take you both out and get to know you better. There's something about you that draws me in, as cheesy as that sounds, and I want to figure out what that is. Together. And I won't take no for an answer:)."
I feel my hear skip a beat, and I'm so pleasantly surprised by his sweet message that I feel my eyes sting a little. Even though I've been telling myself over and over that I don't want a relationship, right now I don't know what I want. Jordan just seems so perfect, and I don't know, maybe I owe it myself to give things a try with him. I should at least get to know him, right? I'm going back and forth with myself trying to figure out what my answer is and what I should say. When all of a sudden it's almost like I've lost control of my hands, I quickly begin to message back, "That sounds great! Just tell me when and where<3."
I hold my breath as I tune my phone face down so I'm not staring and the screen and wait for a ping. When I hear it, I think I almost jump with joy. Jordan sends me and address and day and time. He doesn't say where the address leads or what we're doing, but for some reason I don't care. I'm just excited to see him. He scheduled our date for tomorrow the day before class, so hopefully things go okay. I would hate to be feeling awkward with him after a bad date while trying to pay attention to class.
"Momma and you have some plans tomorrow baby girl. Wish me luck!"
Tasia doesn't know what I'm saying of course, but she slaps her legs and smiles big at me anyways.
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It's finally the day of our date and I'm freaking out trying to figure out what to wear to compliment my less than perfect body shape. I go back and forth between a loose dress paired with sandles and jewelry or form fitting skinny jeans with a colorful dressy shirt paired with wedges. I choose the latter hoping the wedges will help my legs look slimmer. (As if.)
For Tasia I've dressed her in a super adorable off shoulder floral shirt and black baby leggings. She's also wearing a black and white large bow. We tried shoes, but they were off in seconds as usual.
My eyes skip to the clock and check the time. Almost time to go! I cart Tasia around on my hip as I brush my teeth and finish gathering our things. I have no idea where we're going or for how long so I want to make sure I have everything Tasia could possibly need in her diaper bag. Change of clothes, swim suits for both of us, sunscreen, little swimmers, baby purée, sippy cup, blanket, and of course diapers and wipes. So, I may be a little over prepared due to nerves. Sue me.
It's finally tome to take our leave, so we head out of the apartment and follow the directions the digital map gives us for the address provided.
When we get to the destination my breath catches in my throat at the sight of Jordan leaning against his car awaiting our arrival. He looks heavenly, so strong and tall. He's wearing khaki skinny jeans, that show off his muscular legs perfectly, and a light blue polo that hugs all the right places. Can you say, yum.
