Rebel

Lunar Festival

The nightmares returned.

After the argument I had with Hussain, I went directly back to Valerya's cave. I tried to sleep for the rest of the day, but my taunting thoughts came back to me. And this time I didn't have Jako to coax me back to sleep.

My throat began to feel scratchy by the time Valerya and her family came back into the cave. It was late, I had skipped supper. At some points in the middle of the night I felt Valerya's arms around my head, shushing me back to sleep as I continued to jerk awake. Asenka jumped awake a couple of times from my sudden screams or gasps.

I leaned my head back, feeling the cold stone behind me. The thick blanket around me tightened as I snuggled deeper into it.

"Why do you scream?"

I jumped from the sudden voice behind me. I almost toppled forward from the small ledge I sat on outside the main cave that led to Hintu. I glanced over my shoulder, finding Valerya staying a few feet behind me. She was already dressed in her day's clothing. Her eyes were slightly swollen from the sleep.

My eyes trailed down to my watch. It was three in the morning shift. I sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. That's why I came out here." I muttered, leaning my head back against the stone. A frigid gust of wind picked up, slicing through me. I shivered, wrapping the blanket around my face tightly.

The wool blanket didn't keep me warm as much as I thought it would. But it served its purpose, keeping cold enough to stay awake. I hadn't slept much and the cold was the only thing keeping me wide awake. Valerya came into the corner of my vision as she sat down next to me.

"There are more blankets, you know?" She asked me. I nodded quietly, pushing a strand of hair with my numb fingers. Valerya scooted closer to me, the instant warmth of her body reaching me. She sat still and silent for a few awkward minutes. We both looked ahead at what was in front of us.

The dying embers of a bonfire. The sky was a deep purple color, ready to transform into a blue color for the day. I licked my dry lips, not sure what to talk about with Valerya. But I sighed in relief when she began to talk.

"Why do you scream, Zaila?" She repeated her question softly, facing me. I didn't return the gesture, knowing if I looked at her I would dissolve into a mess of tears. And my body already felt weary from crying all the water out of my system over the past hours.

"Blood." I answered vaguely. I blinked a few times, realizing how wrong it sounded. "I use to see blood everywhere in my dreams. Death. Violence. Let's just say becoming the person I am today took part of my sanity." I explained in a whisper. Valerya placed a gentle hand on my arm. "I'm so sorry, I never knew you went through those things." She said.

I gave her a tight smile, still not looking at her. My eyes were focused on the dying flames before me. They whipped around and thrashed. Like birds in a cage.

"How have you dealt with that all this time?"

My heart squeezed as my mind flew to the endless memories of me and Jako. His gentle and smooth touches that use to calm me. He was my medicine. I swallowed. "You were right. Jako was my mate. He helped me through the night. It was as if he was a light in the darkest parts of my head." I told her truthfully. Valerya nodded.

"Well, he was a fool to leave you." She said with a slight squeeze of my arm. I peeked over at her, pushing the blanket completely out of my face. "How did you know he was the one who left me?" I asked curiously. Valerya smiled. "I see the way he looks at you. I, more than anyone, knows those looks of regret and longing." She answered sadly.

I stared at her. Completely stared. I could see the reflection of the fire in front of us in her light eyes. The way her eyebrows were etched together in genuine concern. Her wild hair framing her gorgeous face. Her lips slightly parted, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't quite let the words come out of her mouth.