We Meet Again

Chapter 6 - It's like a roller coaster

 „I miss you so much Tess,” Harry stated as he sat down on the couch. He then patted the empty space next to him and hoped she would sit down next to him - he just needed her close to him. „Just don’t Harry,” she replied and kept on her feet. „Don’t what?” „Don’t say stuff like that… If you really missed me that much you could have picked up the damn phone or just answered one of my texts,” Tessa said angered. „I just couldn’t,” he avoided her gaze. „Why am I even here Harry?” Tessa felt defeated - she was tired of trying to make this work when Harry clearly didn’t care.  „Just hear me out”. Tessa nodded as a sign for him to continue and finally she sat down next to him. Even though she scooted away from him it still calmed his nerves.  „Then start from the beginning,” she said.

„Well you already know about why I started fake dating Kendall. Management didn’t really leave me a choice and I knew the bad media attention was damaging not just my reputation but the band’s as well - and I would never put the band in jeopardy like that.  Since Kendall was and still are a dear friend of mine she seemed like a perfect option - because we would be seeing each other anyways so it didn’t put extra pressure on my schedule,” Harry started and observed the way Tessa handled all the information. „Well the deal had a perfect outcome. Kendall’s career really took off and the media stopped harassing me about my dating life - I mean half the things they were saying weren’t even true,” Harry said and moved a little closer to Tessa. „Well good for you if it work out fan-fucking-tastic,” she huffed. „It did, except the part about you being in my life,” he continued. „God I’m so sorry I made your perfect life a little harder,” Tessa said and got up from the couch. She couldn’t think straight being this close to Harry.

„No you don’t get it. Yeah you made it harder, but I would never have been without you. I’m so sorry for lying about the Kendall thing in the beginning, and I can’t explain to you how sorry I am for pulling away after asking you to be my girlfriend. I don’t know what went on in my head - but I just felt humiliated. I mean, you didn’t want me - and I would have given you everything,” Harry kept talking but at this point Tessa couldn’t keep her mouth shot anymore. „I didn’t want you? Bullshit! Of course I wanted you Harry - I just didn’t want to be your secret. I don’t care about the world knowing or not but I care about being in a relationship with someone who’s dating someone else as well, fake or not,” Tessa was furious and she paced back and forth the hotel room. „I know, don’t you think I know Tess. But I just couldn’t handle it - I was scared you said no because you didn’t want to be with me”. „That wasn’t the reason Styles and you had all the time in the world to talk to me about it afterwards. You were on tour and I know how busy you guys are, but it would only have taken one short text - and then I would have been…” Tessa stopped herself just in time. She looked up and got caught in Harry’s gaze.

Seconds came and went and it felt like an eternity later that Harry asked: „You would have been what?” He was both excited and terrified for her answer. Tessa kept silent having a mental discussing whether to tell him the truth or not, but she was done with all the hiding and secrets there had been in their relationship.„I would have been yours Haz - I would always have been yours… If you just hadn’t shot me out like that”.  How could he have been this stupid. He had lost the best thing he had ever had - and yes apparently he had actually had her, all of her - without even knowing. What could he ever do to make this right? What big gesture would be enough to get her back? Back to him, back being his.

Since Harry didn’t answer Tessa had no clue what to do - she just needed to get out of there. She looked out the window and observed the dark New York. The weather was horrible it was both raining and thundering - and the streets were empty probably due to that. She then noticed the poster of a fun fair coming to Manhattan sometime soon which made her think of one time Harry and her spent riding roller coaster and eating cotton candy all day long. She smiled sadly at the memory - it felt like so long ago. Oh how they both had changed since then. „You and me, it’s just like a roller coaster. I know people say you can either scream and enjoy the ride Harry, and trust me I have enjoyed being with you more than anything - but the times you have made me want to scream, I can’t even count them anymore. I think it’s about time I get of the ride.”