Taken

Chapter 3: I Stopped Dreaming About My Parents and Family and Escape

I'm 16 now, I've been here for about 2 years. I stopped dreaming about my parents and family and escape. I stopped hoping for them to find me. I guess people would say to never lose hope, but then again I'm not sure I had any to begin with. I'm skin and bones, pale, always hungry. I have bruises covering my skin, and a hole in my heart. This underground hell became my home since the day they brought me here. I know nothing else.

I pick at my dirty nails, count how many times the water drips on the floor, think about what my life would be like if this never happened. I used to pinch myself everyday trying to wake up from this nightmare. Eventually I came to except it. I look forward to my stale bread and dirty water, the torturous beatings and disgusting rape. It let's me know I'm not exactly alone. You might not understand, you might think I'm pathetic and weak and maybe I am, but I don't care. Not anymore.

I hear the sound of boots coming toward me, my heart beats a little faster and my breathing is hitched. You never get used to this. Kellin walks In and comes closer to me, I flinch. I always think about that day when he held my hand in a gentle way and said those beautiful words to me. Now he became cold. He used to be my rock, now he's my hammer and knives. He looks angry, he has that far away look in his eye, I assume he's going to hit me. I am their human punching bag. I probably don't even resemble a human anymore.

He paces around with his hands on his head mumbling things impossible to hear. He walks right up to me, pulls his fist back. Here it comes. I flinch, but feel nothing. He gets down on his knees looking me right in the eye. Saying nothing. I want to look away but he has me locked in his gaze. He reaches his hands out as if to cup my face but gets up and storms away, like he came in. I feel rejected. Unwanted. This is the first time In years since I've felt some sort of human affection, but I'm no longer beautiful or desirable. I don't deserve it.

So I go back to picking at my nails, counting how many times the water drops and my wishful thinking. Nothing happened since then, for about a week. Same boring routine. Ed used to be the worst, but now it's kellin. The beautiful flawless, monster in disguise.

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When they're about to rape me they always go through this routine. They blindfold me, handcuff me to the bed and strip my clothes off. The same dirty ones that still fit me from when I was 14. I never know who it is, they all seem the same. They use protection thank god, and they understand the importance of periods so they take care of that too. I've always thought about dying. I know it's going to happen when they're done with me. I just wonder how. Will it be both of them? Will it hurt? Where will they put me once I'm dead? On the side of the road? Or hidden and buried? I also wonder about my family. Have they forgotten? Why haven't they found me yet? I have so many questions on my mind that I will never know, or will eventually find out.

Lights out. It's time for bed. It's always dark in here but when they leave it seems to get darker, and lonelier. They make sure that I'm handcuffed and tied up so I don't escape. As if I even care. I decide to put my questions on hold and fall asleep. Once I wake up it will be exactly the same as today anyways.