Stay With Me

Chapter 1

I am no psychic and believe me when I say I'm pretty dense at some extent. But the ominous feeling that was shadowing me at the words Martin said; I knew for sure something wrong was bound to happen. Alam kong naramdaman ni Cheska na panandaliang nanigas ng aking katawan. Breathe Sade, Breathe. I removed my arms around Cheska to face Martin.

"Eh 'di good. How long has it been since our barkada's last trip? Four years? Five years?" I reached for my phone that was in my pants' back pocket. Kahit ano, para lang malingat ang aking atindi. Even if I was scrolling past already read emails, I can feel two pairs of eyes looking at me.

"Six years na Beks." May kaunting diing pagkakasabi ni Cheska. I know what she wants to imply. She knows that I know that it has been more than six years already. I hastily took another sip from my cup of coffee.

"Kailangan niya ba ng tailor?" Ani ko habang nakasandal sa kitchen counter. I was waiting for the reply and hoped it was otherwise.

"Sade," simula ni Cheska. Alam ko na kung ano ang sasabihin niya base sa tono ng kanyang pananalita. How I wish I was wrong, but I knew too well I wasn't. "Kung hindi mo kaya o kung ayaw mo, okay lang. Maiintindihan ko naman. Maiintindihan namin ni Martin iyon. Just say the word."

The worry was evident and was etched on her face and I felt that she was genuine with every word she has said. And I'm always going to be thankful for that. Pero hindi habambuhay ay lagi na lang nila akong proprotektahan sa ganitong sitwasyon. Na lagi na lang ako dedepende sa kung anong sasabihin ng iba. It's about time I face this myself.

"This isn't about me Cheska. This is about you and Martin. And I don't want you both worrying about me more than you should. In fact, stop worrying about me." I urged her to come near me and held her hand. "I could never be more grateful than I already am to have you as my best friend. And for that, I wouldn't want anything less for your big day. Besides, kung hindi ngayon, kalian?"

Hindi ako sigurado kung sino ang pinapaniwala ko sa mga salita ko: si Cheska ba o ako?

--

"Siguraduhin mong you're on your way here, Beks. Sinasabi ko sa'yo, mahal kita but I will not hesitate to cut off your hair myself," pagtatakot na ani ni Cheska sakin. I'm on the phone talking to her as I make my way to my parked car.

"Can you please stop with your threats? Ito na nga I'm leaving the event na and I'm about to drive off in a minute. Kalma ka lang. I'll call you when I reach the rest stop, ok?" I revved the engine alive and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Buti naman. Drive safely Beks." She hung up the phone. Buti na lang may Fashion event na ginanap sa Angeles, Pampanga ngayong araw na 'to. Otherwise I would've had to join them going to Ilocos Sur yesterday. Get a grip Sade. Napa-singhal ako ng malakas. Akala ko ba kakayanin ko? I'm really just a coward. May limang oras pa ako pa-Ilocos. I turned up the volume on my iPod and chose a song.

--

I could see Cheska waving enthusiastically at me as I park my car. Minsan napa-iisip ako kung paano kami naging matalik na magkaibigan. We're total opposites when it comes to energy. Siya 'tong bibong-bibo at hindi nawawalan ng sigasig, maghapon man o gabi. I'd rather choose to cancel plans just to stay home. Wala na lang akong magawa kung minsan bigla-bigla na lang dumarating sa bahay para mang-yakad sa kung saan-saan.

I gave her a small wave as an answer. Sa susunod talaga hihiramin ko driver ni Ma, hindi ko na talaga mag-drive ng matagal.

"Hey Beks," bati ko habang yinayakap siya. She held my arm to look at me closely. "Kadiri naman yang dark circles mo. Ugh, take a rest kagad sa room mo. Meet us na lang for dinner?" Sinamahan niya ako papunta sa sarili kong villa. I'm thankful she's not forcing me to socialize as soon as I get here. I'm not exactly going to be amicable anyway, she made a good call.

--

I woke up to my alarm that was set for six in the evening. Ang sabi ni Cheska 8 o'clock pm daw yung dinner. Thankfully I got two hours to myself. I don't know why I'm delaying the inevitable but I'm doing it still. I took a long shower and changed into a maxi dress. Tinext ko si Cheska para ipaalam na maglalakad-lakad ako sa may tabing-dagat, baka puntahan niya ako sa villa at magpa-search party kung 'di niya ako makita. I'll probably get a drink before dinner and smoke a stick or two.

The waves were relatively calm as I trailed along the beach. As the sun have set, there are less people on it. After walking for a while, I headed towards the resort's bar. Umorder ako ng isang whisky on the rocks mula sa bartender na medyo cute. Pwede raw mag-yosi kaya nagsindi ako ng isa.

"Sade, 'di ba?"