He Understands Me | j•s (Book One) | WATTYS's 2018 FANFICTION

{2} The Second Phone Call

⚠️PLEASE READ⚠️
{I am not using this abortion/drugs/miscarriage/smoking storyline to hurt anyone. Remember that this is just a story. It's completely fiction. If you feel harmed by this kind of thing or you feel grieved and sensitive towards these subjects, please read with caution. Enjoy...}

...the lights flicker as I slowly walk towards the door. I look through the small window, seeing a figure of my mother, because of the tears in my eyes it's blurred. In the bed, pipes going through her nose, machines beeping, looking lifeless, still and dead. I turn the metal door handle 45 degrees...

I sit down on the blue foamy chair. Holding my mother's cold hand. Her heart is still beating, but only slightly. I cry whilst talking to her.

"Hey mom... these past 9 years have been hard. You've made it through this far. I know you can make it through more. Please don't leave me..."
I lean onto her, falling off the chair and kneeling on the floor.
It's been nine years since her and my dad divorced, since he left her, doing all the hard work, with a helpless toddler, my sister who was 10 years old at the time and my brother, still in my mom's stomach. All in a small home.
He left because he didn't want another child. It's been hard for my mom. My sister just graduated and moved out so my mom has had to come home from work early. She works from 6am to 11pm. She has to get up at 5am and leave at 5:30. She arrives home at roughly 11:30pm so I have to look after myself.
You might be thinking if I have to look after my brother, Ethan. I don't. He would be 9 now. Would. If he survived in my mom's stomach. She had a miscarriage. She always wears a necklace with a silver letter E pendant on it. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a family, even though I do. I'm always alone. I know my mom loves me, but it's still hard.

If my mom leaves me I don't know where I would go. My grandparents are off traveling the world because they are atheists. My aunt Lisa cannot take me in because her house is full. She fosters children and teaches them all her yoga, pilates and  Tai Chi. That's all my family.

The nurse walks in with a box of tissues. I don't take them but say thank you. Before my great grandma died when I was 7, she always used to sing me this.

So come, my crying child. But don't wipe your eyes. Because tears remind you, that you are alive.

I go by that every day, she was my closest family member. She moved in with us to help with me when my great grandfather Phil died.

Aunt Lisa walks in and comforts me by rubbing my back.

Suddenly, I stop rising up and down whilst leaning on my mother's chest. She's stopped breathing. I hear beeping. I sit up as the doctor walks in. He drags me off her. I scream and cry. My aunt Lisa picks me up and drags me out of the room. The doctor locks the door. They close the light blue curtain in front of the window in the door. I crawl and crew under. I can see the monitor the nurse is working at. Flatline...

*two weeks later*

For the past 14 days I have been living with my Aunt Lisa in my home. But after she had to move back to Oregon, I slept in a foster home for a night.

I'm at a council house. They don't know what to do with me. I have no other family.

For the next two night I have been in the foster home. There are a lot of kids around, younger than me. I've been sitting on the window seat in the shared room. Watching a thunderstorm at night, with the necklace with the letter E around my neck. Tears running down my face. Jason's and Lynnie were the couple looking after me. They checked up on me, they were kind. They didn't replace anything though. They couldn't compare.

On a Tuesday morning, Jason, half of the couple who were looking after me, drove me to the government council place where they were sorting out what would happen to me. I was placed in a small room with Mr. Gordon. A 64 years old psychologist/therapist/doctor. He was the main man who had been talking to me to help find out where I would go. He explained that he had touched contacts with a man he believed was my dad. My mom always said that her ex husband Dean was my father but I wasn't sure. Neither was anyone else. I spat in a cup and they took a bit of my hair and blood to do do a DNA test.

Later that evening I received a phone call. It was coming from east-north Ohio. All this time I though I hated my dad for abandoning me and his family. But it turns out my mom pushed him away and banned him from seeing us. After him explaining that he didn't want another baby, he was trying to advise her into getting an abortion.

The phone call was from the family thingy therapy place. They told me that they found my father. The story was that my mom kicked him out of the house after him just giving her advice. He didn't want this baby but she did. She didn't want to see him or him to see us ever again. After my mom realising she needed my father, she tried to contact him. She realised she talked to the government about not letting him see us. She made up some stories about him abusing her and my sister. They weren't true.
After needing him but not being allowed near him, she got into drugs and smoking. That's what killed Ethan inside of her.

I used to blame my dad for not supporting us and my brother. I used to blame him for the miscarriage. Now I know who to blame. My own mother.

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Hoi :D

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I know this chapter was a bit dark and deep but I still hoped you enjoyed it!

~ L O R I ♡